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11th November, 2025

“It’s OK Not to Be OK” – And Other Thought Limiting Clichés

With Rachel Morris

Dr Rachel Morris

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On this episode

When we’re struggling, it can feel as if not coping is a moral failing. We believe we should always be OK, even when working in toxic, overwhelming environments. This thinking leads to further shame and self-blame, creating a destructive cycle.

But accepting “it’s OK not to be OK” isn’t the solution. That phrase can feel tokenistic and unhelpful. Instead, we need to recognise that feeling broken in a broken system is the normal human response. When things are genuinely awful, it would be strange to feel fine – our nervous systems are responding exactly as they should.

When we deny our humanity and beat ourselves up, we hasten burnout and despair, and we can end up with an inability to provide good care to others or ourselves. We become trapped in shame, losing all sense of hope and perspective.

But this difficult chapter will eventually pass, and you’re part of something bigger: a continuous human story. In this quick dip, Rachel offers a perspective you can adopt for yourself, and share with that colleague who’s still trying to be superhuman in an impossible system.

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Reasons to listen

  • To discover why the cliché “It’s OK not to be OK” can be harmful and how to reframe your thinking when working in challenging healthcare environments
  • For practical strategies to stop self-blame, to differentiate between caring and carrying responsibility, and to implement emergency care protocols during difficult times.
  • To understand the bigger story you’re part of, to allow yourself grace, and to recognise your normal human responses to abnormal workloads don’t mean you’re broken

Episode highlights

00:03:44

It’s OK not to be OK

00:06:51

Stop waiting for next month’s catastrophe

00:08:33

Stop taking the second arrow

00:10:40

Stop caring about what isn’t in your control

00:12:27

Start your emergency care protocol

00:13:39

Start extending grace to yourself

00:16:17

Remember you’re part of something bigger

00:17:05

Where hope begins

Episode transcript

[00:00:00] Rachel: I heard recently about a breakthrough in couples therapy. It seems that if you give both people ecstasy, that’s MDMA before they go to therapy, they have a better outcome. Now, I’m not saying do ecstasy before therapy. That of course, is still illegal in this country, but it was really interesting to me. Why on earth did it seem to have good results? [00:00:24] Rachel: Now, I did a bit of literature for research and I have found a literature review about it. I’ll put the, uh, the link in the show notes. But it seems that…

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