Episode 153: Think Differently About Your To-Do List

Time management is something everyone thinks they need to do. But is time something we can really learn to “manage”? If you want to make the most of your time in the world, you need to think differently about what you do in a day.

In this episode, we share a radical idea: stop thinking about your to-do list as a fixed and immovable bucket. Instead, look at it as a river. The river’s always flowing, and YOU decide what to pull out. When you look at your to-do list in this way, you can start giving your time and energy to the things that truly matter.

In this quick dip episode, we discuss shifting our mindset about our to-do list from a bucket to a river. We only have a limited amount of time in the world. Instead of trying to do the impossible of managing our time, we need to start learning how to manage the opportunities we take. We have the power to choose what we take out of that river. So think differently about what you want to pull out, and choose wisely.

If you want to know how to think differently about your to-do list, stay tuned to this episode.

Here are three reasons why you should listen to the full episode:

  1. Understand why it’s impossible to manage time.

  2. Learn why you should think differently about your bucket list.
  3. Start applying the Four F’s Method in your life.

Episode Highlights

[00:29] Four Thousand Weeks

  • The book Four Thousand Weeks by Oliver Burkeman asserts that we can’t manage time. The only thing we can control is the opportunities we take.

  • Turn the bucket of your bucket list into a river.
  • Four thousand weeks is more or less the number of weeks anyone has on this planet.

‘If you view these things as things that you’ve got to get to the bottom of it, you’ve got to do all of them, then you can only be disappointed because we only have a finite amount of time.’ – Click Here To Tweet This

[02:37] Think Differently About Your To-Do List

  • Like our bucket list, we need to start managing our to-do list as a river of opportunities and obligations.

  • You get to decide what things you pluck out of that river.

‘Opportunities are just obligations wearing a different mask.’ – Click Here To Tweet This

[03:55] The Problem with Thinking of Your To-Do List as a Bucket

  • Many people work harder and harder but still feel guilty for not getting to do everything on their to-do list.

  • The nagging guilt from having unfinished tasks is mentally taxing.
  • The faster you get through stuff on your to-do list, the more stuff fills in at the other end.
  • If you keep powering through everything, you’ll find your to-do list growing in a vicious and exponential cycle.
  • You’ll end up focusing on urgent things without getting to the bottom of non-urgent but essential stuff.

‘The faster you get through stuff on your to do list, the more stuff fills in at the other end. So even though you might be treating your to-do list like a bucket, unfortunately, nobody else is. Actually, it is acting like a river.’ – Click Here To Tweet This

[06:21] Shifting Your Mindset About To-Do Lists

  • Reframing your to-do list as a river of opportunities and obligations removes the guilt of not being able to do everything.

  • As you begin to think differently, you’ll start to see all things coming at you as opportunities, not obligations.
  • Knowing that opportunities may become obligations will make you think about what you will fish out of that river.
  • The river will always flow. There will always be far too many things you could do rather than things you can and want to do.

[07:26] How to Choose What to Pick Up Out of the River

  • One way to decide what to pull out of the river is using the Urgent-Important Matrix.

  • Another way is to use the Four F’s Method. These four principles are big rocks first,
  • F it or finish it, how it will make you feel, and fitting it in your diary.

[08:06] Four F’s Method

‘Eff it, or finish it.’ – Click Here To Tweet This

  • Fill your day with big rocks first.

  • F it or finish it is about asking yourself whether the things you hold on to really matter. If it doesn’t, say “F it” and let it go, but if it does matter, you finish it.

‘If we are stressed and anxious, and actually, we are not going to be a very nice person, but if we are feeling calm and happy, I know I’m much more empathetic and much more compassionate.’ – Click Here To Tweet This

  • Think about how it will make you feel in the long run. People who are relaxed and calm with space in their lives perform a lot better and are happier.
  • Determine whether it will fit in your diary. One of the big mistakes people make is keeping a linear to-do list without finding time to do them.

‘One of the big mistakes people make is keeping just a very linear to-do list without finding the time to do stuff.’ – Click Here To Tweet This

[15:31] Choosing Wisely

  • Sometimes, the river will flow really fast, and you will not be able to do many things in it. But sometimes, it will be much slower.
  • You have the choice about what you take on that river. There will always be more to do than you can fit into your time available.
  • Embrace JOMO — the joy of missing out.

‘You have that choice about what you take on, and that there will always be more to do than you can actually fit into your time available.’ – Click Here To Tweet This

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Episode Transcript

Rachel Morris: This is a You are Not a Frog Quick Dip, a tiny taster of the kinds of things we talk about on our full podcast episodes. I’ve chosen today’s topic to give you a helpful boost in the time it takes to have a cup of tea, so you can return to whatever else you’re up to feeling energised and inspired. For more tools, tips and insights to help you thrive at work, don’t forget to subscribe to You are Not a Frog wherever you get your podcasts.

Today, I want to talk about how to think differently about your to-do list. Now, I listen to a lot of different podcasts, and what I love doing is sharing the ideas that I hear with my friends. Now often, I’m listening to podcasts in the car, and I text Siri. I say, text Rachel Morris, this idea, and I’ll say what the idea is, and then I try them out on people. The other day I was meeting up with some people that came on the retreat in September.

We had a lovely reunion, and I shared this idea that I’d come across in a podcast called Wild with Sarah Wilson, and she was talking to Oliver Burkeman. Now, those of you who’ve been listening to the podcast or who’ve attended any of my training will know that I’m a huge fan of Oliver Burkeman. He’s a bit of an anti self help guru. But anyway, Oliver Burkeman’s written this book called 4000 Weeks, which has just completely changed the way that I think about time management.

In fact, Oliver Burkeman says in 4000 weeks, that we can’t manage time. We only ever have 24 hours a day. So the thought that we can actually manage the amount of time we have just isn’t true. What we can manage is the opportunities that we take and what we decide to give our attention to. Now, Oliver Burkeman was talking about books that he’d like to read, and things that he’d like to do in the world, places that he’d like to visit, and they were talking about their bucket list, i.e., the things that you want to do before you die that you absolutely have to do.

He was saying that he had realised that actually, his bucket for his bucket list, the books that he wanted to read or the places that he wanted to go to need, it’s been more like a river than a bucket. There were so many opportunities, so many opportunities that he was not going to be able to take up. So if you view these things as things that you’ve got to get to the bottom of it, you’ve got to do all of them, then you can only be disappointed because we only have a finite amount of time.

In fact, 4000 weeks is more or less the amount of weeks you have on this planet, which is ridiculously short and really quite worrying. I am definitely well over 2000 weeks already. When he said, ‘We need to start thinking of maybe the books he wants to read, rather than a bucket as more of a river,’ it was like an epiphany for me.

I thought, oh my goodness, that’s exactly how we need to manage our to do list, look on it not as a bucket, as a finite list of things that we have to get to the end of that actually a river of opportunities and obligations and other people stuff that actually we need to decide what things we pluck out of that river. Side note, on my wall over here, I have got a post it note that says to me, ‘Opportunities are just obligations wearing a different mask.’

I’ve really tried to internalise that because I’m the sort of person that hates to miss out. I have the biggest FOMO of anybody that I know, and I find it really difficult to say no to stuff, not because I’m particularly worried about upsetting people, but because I genuinely want to do everything. So I’ll often agree to do something, just because it sounds fun, it sounds interesting, not thinking down the line about how much obligation, how much pressure that’s going to put on my time.

So this phrase, ‘Opportunities are just obligations wearing a different mask’ has been very helpful to me. So let’s return to this idea that your to-do list should be a river, not a bucket and why is this important. Well, firstly, many people, as I’ve talked about so many times on the podcast, just work harder and harder when they’ve got more and more to do, and we are saturated at the moment, but we still feel guilty when we can’t get to everything on our to-do list.

Actually, I know that if there are things that I feel I should or I ought to be doing, and I’m not, I have that nagging guilt, which is not a nice feeling and often that just stops me from being able to totally relax. It’s the thing that keeps me awake at night, that nagging thought that I might have missed something or not done something that I really, really should do, and I’m sure many of you listening to this podcast will I be able to identify with those feelings of, oh my goodness, I’ve got so much on that.

Surely, I’m going to make a massive mistake or something’s going to go drastically wrong if I don’t just power through and get everything done. Interestingly, one of the issues with emails is that even if you ignore a lot of your emails, and you don’t read them, that nagging thing in our psyche that there are unread emails or unanswered emails sitting in our inbox does something to us, particularly if you are very, very conscientious.

So having unfinished tasks, having things that we think we ought to get to is quite mentally taxing on us. Here’s the problem with all of this, the faster you get through stuff on your to do list, the more stuff fills in at the other end. So even though you might be treating your to-do list like a bucket, unfortunately, nobody else is. Actually, it is acting like a river. There’s this ridiculous statistic, that for every email that you send, you’ll generate, I think, it’s 1.3 extra emails.

So the more you do, the more you’ll get. There’s that old saying, ask a busy person, and you’ll get something done. If you’re capable, if you’re getting through everything, you’ll find that your to-do list just keeps building and building in this weird sort of exponential vicious cycle. The problem of being in this mindset that I just had to power through my to do list means that what happens is that we end up focusing on just the really urgent stuff, the things that are shouting the loudest at us.

We just keep on putting the important stuff that might not be urgent to the bottom of our list. Here’s the thing, if you shift your mindset to seeing your to-do list, not as a bucket, but as a river of opportunities, obligations, and other people’s stuff, then you’ll lose the guilt of not being able to do everything. What you’ll find is you start to see all these things that are coming along at you, not as obligations, but as opportunities.

You know that if you do fish those opportunities out of the river that they may well become obligations, and it starts to make you really think about what is it that you are going to pick up out of that river, because that river will always be flowing. There will always be far too many things that you could do, rather than things that you actually can do or that you want to do.

My question now is okay, so if we’re going to treat our to-do list as a river, rather than a bucket, how do we choose what we pick up out of that river and how do we choose then what to leave just to flow past us? Well, I’ve had a few thoughts. By the way, those of you that know me will know that every time I release a podcast like this, this is the stuff that I’m really working on myself at the moment, so this is really life for me.

I’m finding myself feeling overwhelmed by everything in the river, and I’m working out how can I start to just do the things that are in my zone of genius, that I want to do without feeling guilty about everything else. So there are many ways to decide what to pull out of the river. You can use the urgent-important matrix. I talk about that all the time, and we’ve certainly talked about that on the podcast before.

One of the other ways that you could decide what you decide to pull out of that river is to use the four Fs method. Now, I have just come up with this, so I would love to have some feedback from you on if it works or not. The first principle is big rocks first, and the question you need to ask yourself is this really important to me? Now, those of you that have come across the big rocks concept before will know that it’s a little demonstration.

You can see you basically get a big jar, and you get several big rocks. You get a few pebbles. You get lots of tiny pebbles, and you get loads of sand. What you do is you say, ‘Can I fit all this into the jar?’ You start by putting the big rocks in the jar. You then fit some of the smaller pebbles around it. You then fill it up with the gravel, and then you put the sand in. The answer is yes, you can get everything into that jar.

What you then do is you take the whole thing out and you get your jar, and you put the sand in first, then the gravel, then the smaller rocks, then the sort of larger pebbles, and then you try and put the big rocks in, and you’ll find that you cannot fit those big rocks into your jar. That is exactly how it is with time, unless we get the big rocks in first, we will never ever get to them. So the big rocks in your life are the things that are really important to you.

I was listening to another podcast with Marshall Goldsmith, who’s a very famous coach, and he was saying, actually, there are really only three things that are important in life. Number one, your health. Number two, your purpose. What are you here to do? What motivates you? What gets you out of bed in the morning to do stuff? Number three, relationships. Okay, health purpose, relationships.

If you’re doing well on all those fronts, you are generally happy, contented and satisfied. Of course, we know that you need time to put into all of those things. So can I suggest that those three things are a good start for your big rocks, and you can really only have I think between three and five big rocks. They might be your family. They might be your faith. They might be a particular aspect of your work or another relationship.

I don’t know, it’s up to you, but you need to decide what your big rocks are. So first principle, big rocks first. The second principle, which I found quite helpful, is F it or finish it. Now, those of you that have been listening to the podcast know that I’m a massive fan of John C Park, who wrote the F It books. This is all about relaxing our hold on what the outcome of things are, because actually, we have no control over that anyway.

The question you need to ask here is, does this really matter? Now, it is surprising how many things I’m really anxious about, and I hold on to and then when I stop and go, ‘Does it really matter?’ I can go, ‘No, you know what, F it, let’s just let it go.’ You know, the times when I will obsess about did I say the wrong thing there? Did I offend somebody? What if I didn’t do enough of that? Or what if I did too much of the other thing? Does it really matter?

If it doesn’t matter, you can just say, F it and let it go. Now, there are some things that are really important that you can’t say F it to, like going to visit that emergency patient or dealing with that urgent financial crisis or things that you are paid to do. If you don’t deliver what you’ve contractually agreed to do, then you’re going to get into trouble. So there are things that you just need to do, and you need to get them finished, and you need to get them done.

So either it doesn’t matter, in which case you say F it, or it does matter in which case you finish it, so F it or finish it. The question to ask there is does it really matter. Actually, one of the mantras that John C. Parkin talks about a lot is the mantra F it, it doesn’t matter so much. If you want to hear more from John, then check out his podcast. We’ll put the links in the show notes. Another way to decide what you’re going to take out of the river is to think, how’s this going to make me feel in the long run?

If I take this on, am I going to feel very, very stressed and anxious, because I need to do it, or will it actually make me feel much calmer, much happier? I think that’s a great way to make decisions about things. Because if we are stressed and anxious, and actually, we are not going to be a very nice person, but if we are feeling calm and happy, I know I’m much more empathetic and much more compassionate.

So thinking in the long run about how I’m going to feel if I take that thing out of the river and get it on my to do list is much more helpful than just so I want to achieve that. We know that people who are relaxed and calm with space in their lives perform a lot better, are happier and let’s face it, just a lot nicer to be around. The final principle that you can use to work out if you take that thing out of your to do river or not is asking, ‘Will this fit in my diary? Can I find space for it?’

Because one of the big mistakes people make is keeping just a very linear to-do list without finding the time to do stuff. Now, I don’t know about you, but in my diary, I have all my commitments for evenings after work. So when I go to choir, that’s a two hour slot. If I go to the gym, to a class, that’s a 45 minute slot, or if I’m out with my friends, that’s booked in for all evening.

But if you’re not doing, say, a surgery or clinic or a shift, often we just have work booked in, and we don’t actually time block those activities that we do at work. We just sort of had this list and think we’re gonna just get through it somehow, and that if we put more things on our to do list, everything just gonna contract to fit everything in. But we know things don’t work like this. We know often tasks take, I would say, at least double the time that I think they’re going to take.

So one very effective technique is when you’ve got something to do, you time block it. You put it in your diary in the amount of time you think it’s going to take you and then the next task in your diary and then the next task and soon your diary will be fill up. When more opportunities or obligations come along, the question isn’t, ‘Do I want to do this or not?’ It’s, ‘Can I fit this into my diary?’

If I really want to do it, what else can I move so that I can put this block of time in to do this task because there’s absolutely no point in agreeing to do something if you don’t have enough time to do it. I’ve seen this time and time again, especially in healthcare, that professionals just take on one role after another after another, and they’re doing it in their lunch breaks. They haven’t actually got enough time free in their day to do it.

So stop taking on roles for set amounts of time that you haven’t actually got. You’re gonna get really, really stressed. So asking yourself these four questions is really important. Firstly, is it one of my big rocks? Can I put my big rocks in first? Secondly, does this thing really matter to me? Can I say, F it, or will I finish it? Thirdly, how will this make me feel? Fourthly, will this fit into my diary, or can I find space in my diary for this?

So start to see your to-do list as a river, rather than a bucket, a river that is constantly flowing with opportunities, obligations, and other people’s stuff. Now, sometimes the river is going to be flowing really, really fast, and you aren’t going to be able to do very many things that are in that river. But sometimes, it will be much slower, and you’ll be able to do many, many more things. But realise that you have that choice about what you take on, and that there will always be more to do than you can actually fit into your time available, and it’s up to you to choose wisely.

Finally, just embrace the JOMO, the joy of missing out on stuff knowing that you have chosen the things that are important to you, that will make you feel good, be a better person, knowing that you actually have time to do what you’ve chosen to do. We’re going to return to this idea of managing our time in future episodes because it’s the one thing that none of us really have right. So email me, let me know how you got on, and I’ll see you again for another episode.

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Everyone has difficulty enforcing their set boundaries, from top-end executives to junior employees. Logically, we know that we cannot do everything people want, but biologically, our minds are hardwired to please people. In this episode of You Are Not a Frog, Annie Hanekom guides you through how to say no and deal with the inevitable pushback.

Episode 124: How to Change When Change is Scary with Dr Claire Kaye

Change can definitely be scary. However, it doesn’t always have to be a difficult experience. Dr Claire Kaye joins us in this episode to talk about how you can approach change proactively. Whether you dislike change or thrive on it, her insights and enlightening tips will help you make the most of the opportunities in your life. Are you undergoing a difficult change right now? Learn more about how to change even when change is scary in this episode of You Are Not a Frog.

Episode 123: How to Live With No Regrets with Georgina Scull

Georgina Scull joins us in this episode to talk about what she learned from writing the book, Regrets of the Dying: Stories and Wisdom That Remind Us How to Live. She shares three revelations that people have while on their deathbeds: not being able to make other people happy, living up to other people’s expectations, and trying to rewrite history. We walk you through practical steps to help you reflect on your true desires so you can live a meaningful life.

Episode 122: How to be Happy at Work with Sarah Metcalfe

Joining us to talk about the importance of happiness in the workplace - and how we can find it - is Sarah Metcalfe. The founder of Happiness Coffee Consulting, she shares her top tips on simple things you can do to pursue happiness and share it with others. Even in high-stress jobs, it’s possible to choose happiness and spread it. And the results can be extraordinary. If you want to learn more about how and why we should be happy at work, tune in to this episode.

Episode 121: How To Be A Happy Working Parent with Corrina Gordon-Barnes

Corrina Gordon-Barnes joins us to discuss the common struggles of working parents and the things we need to unlearn. She shares how to take radical responsibility as a parent and delegate responsibilities from housework to emotional load. We also teach you how to stay in your zone of genius and accept help when you need it. It’s time to live a life you love and enjoy, even amidst all your responsibilities! If you’re struggling to balance work and parenting, stay tuned to this episode.

Episode 120: Making Online Meetings Work with John Monks

John Monks joins us in this episode to discuss designing better online meetings and interactions. We clarify the difference between a meeting, a presentation, and a workshop. We also discuss creative ways to design online meetings that energise and infuse rather than drain and demotivate. And John shares some simple exercises on limits and boundaries that can radically improve our problem solving and creativity. If you want to know how to make the most out of online meetings, stay tuned to this episode.

Episode 118: How to Manage Upwards (and Sideways) with Dr Claire Edwin and Dr Keerthini Muthuswamy

Dr Claire Edwin and Dr Keerthini Muthuswamy talk about their experiences working within a hierarchical system as junior doctors and share what they have found to be essential if you want to build trust and foster good relationships with your seniors, your juniors and your peers. If you want to know how you can build trust and influence your workplace, and manage upwards and sideways this episode is just for you!

Episode 116: What I Got So Wrong About Mindfulness And How It Might Transform Your Life with Dr Steve Pratt

Dr Steve Pratt joins us to discuss what we really mean by mindfulness, and how it could work for you. He'll debunk some of the myths of mindfulness and how you can make it worth your time and effort. We'll discuss how certain techniques can help us live happier, be less anxious, and harness our resources to make better decisions. Finally, Steve shares his mindfulness practices and takes us on a quick three-minute breathing exercise! If you want to learn about mindfulness, stay tuned to this episode.

Episode 114: How to Get an Appraisal that Doesn’t Suck with Dr Susi Caesar

Dr Susi Caesar joins us to talk about how you can elevate and enjoy your professional life with annual appraisals. She shares the purpose of appraisals and how they can help you choose the best way forward in your career and personal life. Dr Susi also gives her top tips on what you can do to make this process more meaningful. If you want to know more about appraisals and how you can benefit from them, stay tuned to this episode.

Episode 113: What To Do When A Junior Is Badmouthing Your Colleagues with Dr Ed Pooley

Dr Ed Pooley joins us in this episode to discuss what we should do when we see inappropriate behaviour like badmouthing. He shares how we can manage difficult conversations with the intent of helping others. We also discuss the importance of recognising triggers through the SCARF model. If you want to know how to deal with difficult conversations for a better workplace, listen to this episode.

Episode 112: Why We’re Ditching the Term ‘Imposter Syndrome’ with Dr Sarah Goulding

Dr Sarah Goulding joins us to talk about imposter syndrome and why we need to drop the word from our vocabularies. We also discuss how self doubt can be helpful to us. Finally, she shares tips for overcoming wobbles and incorporating more self-compassion into your life. If you want to get over your imposter syndrome and practice self-compassion, then this episode is for you!

Episode 111: What To Do When You Start To See Red with Graham Lee

Graham Lee joins us to discuss our emotional states and ways to apply simple mindfulness techniques to change them. Most conflicts are rooted in unmet needs. When we admit those needs, we can instantly change relationship dynamics. Graham also shares tips on what to do during stressful situations where your emotions cloud your judgement and thinking. If you want to use mindfulness practice to be more aware of your emotions even during difficult situations, tune in to this episode.

Episode 110: How To Stop People Pleasing And Absorbing Other People’s Angst

Dr Karen Forshaw and Chrissie Mowbray join us to discuss how our core beliefs shape the way we respond to situations. When taken too far, empathy and helping people can be a big cause of stress. In addition, we also talk about we can learn to reframe and reassess their core beliefs. If you want to know how to help people without absorbing their emotions, stay tuned to this episode.

Episode 109: Is It Possible To Have Fun At Work? With Dr Kathryn Owler

Dr Kathryn Owler joins us in this episode to share her fascinating research on the characteristics and traits of people who enjoy their current jobs. We dissect the common themes these people have in finding success in their careers. And we also talk about changes we can implement as individuals to make work more fun and enjoyable. If you want to start adopting the mindset people who have fun at work have, stay tuned to this episode.

Episode 108: What We Wish We’d Learnt at Med School with Dr Ed Pooley & Dr Hussain Gandhi

Dr Ed Pooley and Dr Hussain Gandhi join us in the latest episode of You are Not a Frog. They discuss the management skills a doctor needs that you won't learn in med school, plus tips to help fresh doctors feel empowered in their workplace. Whether or not you work in medicine, these skills are crucial when it comes to working effectively and managing your own and others’ time. Tune in and listen to the experts talk about the management skills med school doesn't teach you and how to learn and develop them today.

Episode 107: Define Your Own Success In Life With Dr Claire Kaye

Dr Claire Kaye joins us to talk about the importance of honesty and clarity in defining our own success. We may think that achieving certain goals will make us happy, but evidence shows us it’s the other way around. It’s only when we’re happy that we can be successful. We also discuss how to overcome common barriers to our happiness and success such as fear, guilt, and uncertainty. If you want to know how to live a happier and more successful life, stay tuned to this episode.

Episode 105: The Simplest Way to Beat Stress and Work Happier with Dr Giles P. Croft

In this episode, Dr Giles P. Croft joins us to discuss how our thoughts and emotions trigger stress signals. He shares his controversial approach to tackling stress, and why most of our efforts to cope better don’t really help at all. We also delve into the importance of pausing to allow yourself to calm down and letting go of the things you can’t control.

Episode 104: How to Cope With Nightmare Relatives and Colleagues Without Losing the Plot

In this special Christmas episode, Corrina Gordon-Barnes shows us how to create the groundwork for a peaceful and successful holiday season, even while navigating difficult relationships with relatives or colleagues. Corrina guides us to relax our expectation of a perfect holiday with our family, so we can face reality in ourselves and others. She explains a simple framework to allow you to resolve conflict, and walks us through what we can do during difficult gatherings and how to shift our responses to create different outcomes. Tune in to improve your strained relationships with relatives and co-workers through empathy and letting go of past assumptions.

Episode 103: How Not to Settle For The Way It’s Always Been Done

Dr Abdullah Albeyatti talks about improving your life and career by making changes and taking risks. He explains why settling for the familiar could be slowly ruining your life and how you can avoid this situation. Finally, he shares his top three tips to become a changemaker in your field. If you want to start doing things differently, creating change, and take more risks, then this episode is for you!

Episode 102: Why FAIL is Not a 4-Letter Word

Drs Claire Edwin, Sally Ross, and Taj Hassan join us to discuss how we can manage and deal with our failures more effectively. We explore the idea that rather than doing something wrong, failure is an opportunity to really grow and learn both as individuals, as leaders and as organisations. In any situation, it’s important to remember that we’re all human. It’s okay to be honest with ourselves and each other about our mistakes - after all, vulnerability is not a sign of weakness. If you want to know how to change your mindset around failure, stay tuned to this episode.

Episode 101: Making Helpful Habits Stick with Sheela Hobden

Sheela Hobden joins us to discuss how we can harness the power of checklists to create a routine. She shares how you can approach your goals in a more realistic way and learn to encourage yourself using specific goal setting techniques. Sheela also recommends creating identity-based goals to ensure that you keep building your new identity even after completing certain milestones. Start small, and eventually, you’ll see these good habits stick!

Episode 100: Dealing With the Guilt of Not Being Okay With Dr Nik Kendrew

Dr Nik Kendrew unravels why we experience overwhelming guilt when bad things happen to us. He also shares some tips, techniques, and resources on how to deal with guilt, especially in these difficult times and circumstances. Apart from this, Nik talks about the significance of scheduling our entire day to do important things. Finally, he discusses why setting boundaries is necessary to maintain our sense of self.

Episode 99: How to Deal with Criticism When You’ve Reached Your Limit with Dr Sarah Coope and Dr Rachel Morris

Dr Sarah Coope joins me to talk about the workload of medical professionals and the benefits of setting boundaries while dealing with criticisms amidst the global pandemic. We discuss the three elements of the Drama Triangle and ways to navigate or avoid them reliably. As we dive deeper into the conversation, we explore the art of saying 'No' through acknowledging our limits. Awareness and recognition can go a long way in maintaining our boundaries. If you want to take the first step in recognising your limits, handling criticism better and setting proper boundaries, tune in to this episode.

Episode 96 – How to Deal with Difficult Meetings with Jane Gunn

We hear from the expert in conflict management and mediation, Jane Gunn. She discusses important tips to keep in mind to host great meetings. She shares some practical conflict management tips and how to make decisions that you and your team agree on. Jane also emphasises the importance of putting the fun back in functional meetings and the need to give a voice to participants.

Episode 93 – How to Delegate, Do It, or Drop It with Anna Dearmon Kornick

Anna Dearmon Kornick joins us to share the time management strategies crucial for busy professionals. She lays down tips on how medical practitioners can have more control over their days. Anna talks about how to manage admin time and imparts ways to combat distractions. We also discuss the importance of delegation both inside and outside work. For this, Anna introduces the passion-proficiency lens and knowing your zone of genius.

Episode 92 – How to Avoid Becoming the Second Victim with Dr Caraline Wright & Dr Lizzie Sweeting

Dr Caraline Wright and Dr Lizzie Sweeting join us to discuss the second victim phenomenon. They explain why patient safety incidents are occupational hazards and how they can affect healthcare providers. Caraline then shares her personal experience of being in the “second victim” role. Finally, they share tips on how to avoid second victimhood and how to provide support to someone going through it.

Episode 91 – How to Break Up With Your Toxic Relationship With Your Career with Dr Pauline Morris

Dr Pauline Morris joins us to share her career counselling advice for physicians and other professionals in high stress jobs. We discuss the common pitfalls that lead doctors to unsustainable work habits. Pauline also sheds light on why staying in your comfort zone can be detrimental to your performance. To avert this, she shares tips on how to better recognise and advocate for your own needs. We also learn about the importance of self-care and taking time for yourself.

Episode 90 – What to do About Bitching and Backbiting with Dr Edward Pooley

Dr Edward Pooley joins us again to discuss what to do when colleagues make inappropriate comments about others. We talk about why it’s crucial to consider the question behind the question in workplace backbiting. Ed also teaches us how to challenge in a supportive way. Most importantly, we learn some strategies to prepare ourselves to speak up when the situation requires it.

Episode 89 – Should I stay or should I go? with Corrina Gordon-Barnes

Corrina Gordon-Barnes joins us to share how to better relationships and take control and stay in your zone of power. She shares how to make a good decision by questioning thoughts and assumptions. We also discuss how you can change your perspective to become more compassionate, accepting, and empowered. If you want to know how to better relationships, stay in your zone of power, improve your decision-making skills, and be true to yourself, then tune in to this episode!

Episode 88 – How to Ditch the Saviour Complex and Feel More Alive with Rob Bell

Rob Bell joins us in this episode to discuss the perils of the saviour complex and the desire to keep hustling even when we’re miserable. We learn that taking time for rest and reflection only helps us get stronger. You can’t heal and help rebuild a broken system if you don’t look out for yourself first. Tune in to this episode to find out how to ditch the saviour complex, feel happier and live a more fulfilling life.

Episode 87 – Complaints and How to Survive Them Episode 5: What Should I Do When I Think a Complaint is Unfair? And Other Questions with Drs Sarah Coope, George Wright, Samantha White, and Andrew Tressider

We’re joined by a panel of expert guests to share their thoughts on how to handle complaints. Together, we discuss ways that you can adjust your perspective and respond to unfavourable situations. Most importantly, we tackle issues regarding malicious complaints and how to cope with them. If you’re having trouble managing yourself during complaints, then this episode is for you.

Episode 86 – Gaslighting and Other Ways We’re Abused at Work: What’s Really Going On? with Dr James Costello

Dr James Costello joins us to talk about his new book and the insidious ways that organisations and individuals can undermine us. They compel us to do extra emotional labour for us to cope with the workplace dynamics. We also chat about what happens when authority and power are misused. Finally, James shares some of the disastrous consequences bullying in the workplace can have and what we can do about it. Tune in if you want to know what to do if you suspect that you or a colleague are experiencing relational abuse in the workplace!

Episode 85 – How to have crucial conversations with Dr Edward Pooley

Good communication between colleagues is crucial for the success of any organisation. Dr Edward Pooley joins us again to teach us how to communicate well. He discusses the three strands present in any conversation and helps us understand how we can be more aware of each. We also share some frameworks that can help you navigate difficult conversations. Understanding the importance of emotion is crucial in being an effective communicator and connecting with your team.

Episode 84 – Complaints and How to Survive Them Episode 4: Creating a Workplace Where It’s OK to Fail

Professor Susan Fairley and Dr Jane Sturgess join us to discuss how to create a workplace that doesn’t shy away from failure. We talk about how civility can save lives and also touch on the issues around incident reporting in healthcare. Most importantly, we talk about creating a culture where people can have difficult conversations without defensiveness. If you want to know how to approach failing and speaking up in the workplace, tune in to this episode.

Episode 83 – The Ups and Downs of Being a Man-Frog with Dr Chris Hewitt

Joining us in this episode is Dr Chris Hewitt who also uses the metaphor of a man-frog in coaching professionals to have a better work-life balance. Chris talks about why we find it so hard to recognise burnout. He also shares his top tips and practical strategies to address work dissatisfaction. If you want to stop feeling like a man (or woman) - frog in a pan of slowly boiling water, listen to the full episode.

Episode 82 – Complaints and How to Survive Them Series Episode 3: Surviving the Process

Drs Jessica Harland, Caroline Walker and Heidi Mousney join us in this episode to discuss healthcare professionals’ experiences when dealing with complaints. We talk about the different emotions you may experience and practical tips on getting through. If you want to know how to survive the process after making a mistake at work and receiving a complaint, stay tuned to this episode.

Episode 81 – When Soft and Fluffy Met Coronavirus with Steve Andrews

Steve Andrews, Associate Director of Leadership for East and North Herts NHS Trust shares how, through using just five crucial questions, you can check in on people, rather than check up on them. The 5 questions will help you to find out how people really are, help them look out for their colleagues, empower them to solve their own problems AND communicate empathy and support. Want to know how you can apply compassionate leadership in your organisation? Then, this episode is for you.

Episode 80 – Complaints and How to Survive Them Episode 2: What to Do When You Make a Mistake with Drs Clare Devlin and Dr John Powell

Drs Clare Devlin and John Powell join us to discuss the proper way of responding to professional mistakes. We talk about why doctors have a hard time whenever they make a mistake at work. Clare and John also share valuable advice on minimising negative consequences and getting a good outcome for you and your patient. If you want to learn a roadmap for what you should do you make a mistake at work, then tune in to this episode.

Episode 79 – How to Give Yourself Permission to Thrive with Dr Katya Miles

Dr Katya Miles joins us once again to talk about burnout and giving ourselves permission to thrive. Having experienced work burnout, Katya shares her story and discusses the red flags of burnout. We also talk about why we find it difficult to give ourselves permission to thrive and how we can overcome our own internal barriers. If you want to learn about how you can listen to your needs so that you can thrive in work and in life, then this episode is for you.

Episode 78 – Complaints and How to Survive Them Series 1: Preparing to Fail Well with Drs Sarah Coope, Annalene Weston and Sheila Bloomer

Drs Sarah Coope, Annalene Weston and Sheila Bloomer join us in this first episode in a new series on ‘Complaints and How to Survive Them’ to talk about coaching doctors and dentists through complaints made against them. We also talk about the perfectionist mindset and how changing our perspective towards failure can help us and those around us. If you want to know how to deal better with complaints made against doctors and other professionals in high-stress jobs, stay tuned to this episode.

Episode 77 – Denial, displacement and other ways we neglect ourselves with Dr Andrew Tresidder

Dr Andrew Tresidder joins us to talk about how many medical practitioners and other professionals in healthcare and high stress jobs neglect their health and well-being. We're so focused on taking care of others that we forget to take care of ourselves but our well-being is vital if we want to keep doing the work we do. Find out why healthcare professionals need to learn more about health, as opposed to only learning about disease and if you want to know how to focus on taking care of your health and well-being, stay tuned to this episode.

Episode 76 – Tech Tips for Happy Hybrid Working with Dr Hussain Gandhi

Dr Hussain Gandhi, or Dr Gandalf of eGPlearning, joins us in this episode. He is a GP, PCN director and host of the eGP Learning Podblast that shares deep dives into health tech for primary care. He shares his tech and time hacks for hybrid working to survive and thrive in the new virtual environment. If you want to find out how to improve your hybrid working experience, then tune in to this episode!

Episode 74 – Managing your Time in a System Which Sucks with Dr Ed Pooley

Dr Ed Pooley joins us in this episode to share his take on time management techniques for busy individuals. He discusses the three types of competing demands and how to manage them. We also talk about being more comfortable holding difficult conversations about workplace issues - vital to help change the environment we work in. Tune into this episode to discover how time management techniques and communication can help you get a calmer and more time-efficient workplace.

Episode 73 – How to Find Your Tribe: The PMGUK story with Dr Nazia Haider and Dr Katherine Hickman

Dr Nazia Haider and Dr Katherine Hickman join us on this episode to discuss the importance of a work community. We talk about the inspiring stories from the online community they created, the Physicians Mums Group UK (PMGUK). Nazia and Katherine also share their tips on how to increase connections and find your own tribe at work. If you want to know how to create a network of supportive colleagues and feel more connected, then tune into this episode.

Episode 72 – Working well – from anywhere! with Dr Katya Miles

Dr Katya Miles joins us to discuss how to work well from home by creating healthy boundaries. She shares how to be more productive by using the third space hack and taking breaks. Katya also talks about how to be more active and better connect with people in the workplace. If you want to learn about working well from home and achieving a better work-life balance, then tune in to this episode.

Episode 71 – Create a Career You’ll Love with Dr Claire Kaye

Dr Claire Kaye joins us to discuss how to find a career you love. As an executive coach specialising in career development, Claire is an expert in guiding people how to find a career they love. We talk about the value of job networking and diversifying in our career journeys. We also share our tips and experiences on how to find a career you love. We do this by helping you identify the roles that best suit you and how to go about getting these roles.

Episode 70 – How Safe Do You Feel at Work with Scott Chambers

Scott Chambers joins us to talk about why we need to make people feel comfortable and safe enough to speak up in their workplace. When we create psychological safety in our team, we improve overall happiness and boost performance! If you want to learn how to create psychological safety for a better and happier team - whether you’re the boss or not, stay tuned to this episode.

Episode 69 – Make Time for What Matters with Liz O’Riordan

Liz O'Riordan joins us to share productivity life hacks. These have helped her transform how she approaches work. Now, Liz can spend quality time with her family and enjoy life. In this episode, she teaches us how we too can achieve this. If you want to learn some new life hacks, beat burnout and work happier, then tune in to this episode!

Episode 68 – The Revolutionary Art of Breathing with Richard Jamieson

Richard Jamieson discusses how we can utilise breathing techniques to feel calmer, make better decisions and be more productive. He explains the different steps we can take to change our breathing patterns. When you’re in a high-stress situation, remember this: just breathe. If you want to know how to use breathing techniques to beat stress in everyday situations, stay tuned to this episode.

Episode 67 – Bringing Your Best Self to Work with Dr Sarah Goulding

Dr Sarah Goulding discusses how to bring your whole self to work without leaving bits of you behind. Sarah shares her own story of experiencing burnout at her old job and rediscovering her true passion. We also discuss how applying our core strengths to our jobs can mean the difference between burnout and having a sense of fulfilment. Don’t miss out on this episode if you want to learn more about how to be yourself and how to bring joy back into your work!

Episode 65 – Passing the Naughty Monkey Back with Dr Amit Sharma

Dr Amit Sharma joins us to discuss the effects of taking on too many of other people’s ‘naughty monkeys’. We talk about why professionals in high-stress jobs so often take on the rescuer role and how to shift that mindset. Amit and I also discuss the importance of empowering patients to take control of their own health. If you want to know how to avoid being weighed down by too many naughty monkeys, stay tuned to this episode.

Episode 64 – What to Do When You’re Out of Fuel with Dr Jess Harvey

Dr Jess Harvey, a GP partner and GB triathlete, talks about what happened to her after running out of fuel and feeling burnt out. She discusses how we often ignore the symptoms and signs for too long and why resting and refuelling is as important as what we're doing in the first place. If you’re feeling burnt out, tune in to this episode to find out how you can plug the holes in your energy bucket!

Episode 63 – How to Survive Even When Times are Tough with Dr Caroline Walker

This episode is part of the COVID-19 Supporting Doctors series, and joining us again is Dr Caroline Walker. She's here to discuss why rest is crucial, especially for people in high-stress jobs. Caroline also shares key strategies that can keep us going through the crisis. The previous year has been tough, so don’t miss this episode to start 2021 better prepared.

Episode 62 – Self-Coaching for Success with Dr Karen Castille, OBE

Dr Karen Castille joins me in this episode to discuss her book on self-coaching. She shares powerful questions to ask yourself which will jumpstart your self-coaching journey. She also talks about the importance of developing this vital skill and crafting powerful life questions. Before we close the show, Karen gives her top tips for self-coaching. Don’t miss this episode if you want to learn how you can find clarity and achieve success through self-coaching!

Episode 61 – The Self Help Book Group on Happiness with Dr Nik Kendrew

In this episode, You Are Not A Frog regular Dr Nik Kendrew joins me to discuss the concept of happiness. We tackle the everlasting question of ‘What is happiness’? We also talk about perfectionism and fear and how these can hinder us from doing the things we want to do. At the end of the show, Nik and I give our top tips to being happier. If you want to know more about living a happy life, then this episode is for you.

Episode 60 – Creating a Workplace that Works with Dr Sonali Kinra

Dr Sonali Kinra joins us to discuss why people leave their jobs and how to prevent it. We talk about the importance of workplace culture and its role in creating an environment that makes people want to stay. We also discuss why you need to seek opportunities that broaden and develop your career. Don’t miss this episode if you want to find out how to keep yourself in a job you love.

Episode 59 – A Social Dilemma? With Dr James Thambyrajah

In this episode, Dr James Thambyrajah joins us to talk about social media’s subtle yet profound effect on our daily lives. We discuss the perils of being unaware of how our online decisions are influenced. James also shares his insights on how we can improve how we stay informed and inform others. Tune in to this episode if you want to learn more about how to go beyond your digital echo chamber.

Episode 55 – The One About Alcohol

Dr Giles P Croft is back to chat with Rachel about his experiences following a revolutionary read he was recommended. You might remember Giles from episode 46, where he talked about how as humans, we naturally default to happiness.

Episode 52 – A year of the frog

The week’s episode is a special one as the Frog celebrates a year of podcasting! It’s been quite a year - including charting in Apple’s Top 100 Business Podcasts in the UK!

Episode 50 – Freeing yourself from the money trap

Joining Rachel in this week’s episode is Dr Tommy Perkins, as well as being a GP Partner, and father, Tommy is one half of Medics Money. Medics Money is an organisation specifically aimed at helping doctors make better decisions with their finances. It’s run by Tommy and Dr Ed Cantelo who is not only a doctor but a qualified accountant.

Episode 49 – The Self Help Book Group No 2 with Nik Kendrew

This week Rachel is joined by You Are Not A Frog regular, Nik Kendrew. Last time Nik joined us, we discussed a book that has helped him in his professional life as a GP, trainer and partner as well as his personal life. Nik’s back this week to talk about another brilliant book and to share what insights and learnings he’s gained from it.

Episode 47 – How to Have a Courageous Conversation

Rachel talks with Beccie D'Cunha about the conversations that we avoid and the conversations we really need to have with our colleagues, teams and managers. They can be described as difficult conversations, but we can redefine them as courageous conversations - because ultimately it takes courage for both parties to listen and be heard.

Episode 46 – Default to happy

Rachel talks with Dr Giles P Croft about his take on how to beat stress and burnout. Giles  is a psychology graduate and former NHS surgeon who stepped aside from clinical practice for a decade to explore a number of career paths, including health informatics, cycling journalism, public speaking and high street retail with his wife.

Episode 45 – Rest. The final frontier

Rachel is joined by Sheela Hobden, Professional Certified Coach, wellbeing expert and fellow Shapes Toolkit facilitator. We talk about why rest isn’t just important for wellbeing, but important for productivity and creativity too. 

Episode 40 – Leading with tough love with Gary Hughes

In this episode, Rachel is joined by Gary Hughes, author of the book Leadership in Practice, blogger, educator and facilitator who is a Practice Manager by day. We chat about how leadership in the COVID-19 crisis has had to adapt, and the different roles that a leader has had to take.

Episode 37 – How to manage conflict during COVID with Jane Gunn

Rachel is thrilled to welcome back Jane Gunn – lawyer, mediator and expert in conflict resolution who has been known as the Corporate Peacemaker. This episode is for you if the thought of addressing a difficult issue with one of your colleagues send you running for the hills…

Episode 20 – A creative solution to stress with Ruth Cocksedge

In this episode, Rachel is joined by Ruth Cocksedge a Practitioner Psychologist who started her career as a mental health nurse. She practices in Cambridge and has a particular interest in EMDR for PTSD and creative writing as a way to improve mental health and wellbeing.

Episode 11 – The magical art of reading sweary books

In this episode, Rachel is joined once again by Dr Liz O’Riordan, the ‘Breast Surgeon with Breast Cancer’, TEDx speaker, author, blogger, triathlete and all round superstar who has been nominated for ‘Woman of the Year’.

Previous Podcasts

2023-01-26T04:37:40+01:00
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