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On this episode
Some of us are guilty of practicing toxic leadership, without even knowing it. This isn’t the overt, aggressive bullying we often associate with poor management, but something more subtle and more insidious.
When we’re in hero mode, we’re constantly stepping in, solving problems, and rescuing our team members. It feels good – we’re the saviours, the ones who keep things running. But this form of leadership is dangerous. It creates dependencies in others, stifles their growth, and can lead to our own burnout.
But there’s a way we can step back, listen, and support our team in solving their own problems. We don’t have to have all the answers, but by allowing our team members to take ownership and find their own solutions, we can promote growth and build a healthier team dynamic where everyone feels empowered.
If we’re the only ones who can solve problems, what happens if we’re not there? The team becomes dependent on us, which is detrimental to the overall performance and health of the organisation. So the next time a team member comes to us with a problem, we need to resist the urge to immediately jump in and solve it, and instead take a coaching approach.
Show links
More episodes of You Are Not a Frog:
- Passing the Naughty Monkey Back – Episode 65 with Dr Amit Sharma
- How to Escape the Drama Triangle and Stop Rescuing People – Episode 75 with Annie Hanekom
- How to Ditch the Saviour Complex and Feel More Alive – Episode 88 with Rob Bell
Download the episode’s podsheet. You can use it for reflection and to submit for your appraisal as part of your CPD.
Reasons to listen
- To understand why taking on too much responsibility for others can be a form of toxic leadership
- To learn how to identify when you’re falling into the trap of heroing and how to stop doing it
- To discover how to shift your mindset to a coaching approach, empowering others to solve their own problems
Episode highlights
Hero vs bully
Unconscious leadership
What are you responsible for?
Leading by standing back
The drama triangle
When we stop rescuing
Notice when you’re in the triangle
Take a coaching approach
Take a coaching approach
Wrapping up
Your next step
Pitfalls to watch out for
Episode transcript
[00:00:00] Rachel: Last year for my husband’s 50th birthday, we went away to Bali as a family, which was an incredibly long plane ride. On the plane, I was introduced to the program Succession, which I’m sure. Let’s have, you will have watched. And for those of you that don’t know Succession. It’s all about a family. It’s based on sort of a big media mogul family. And they are all vying to see who is going to succeed their father in leading the company. And head of the family is Logan Roy, a really horrible man, a toxic leader.…
