How to Get What You Need When Even YOU Don’t Know

On this episode

When we’re stressed or tired, we can act in ways that push away the people we love. We tell ourselves they should’ve anticipated our needs, or that they don’t appreciate us.

This is probably a sign that an underlying core need isn’t being met. Understanding these needs can help us avoid misinterpreting situations and blaming others. By focusing on those needs, we can communicate better and avoid an escalating conflict over the dirty dishes.

We all have essential needs for rest, connection, and appreciation – these are our “SOS needs”. Pay attention to how these needs show up in your body and mind – and when you feel overwhelmed, take a pause, step away, and give yourself time to think clearly.

If we don’t, we can end up creating a cycle where we feel worse and more isolated. We might miss out on the love and support we actually need, and reinforce those stories about how we’re unappreciated.

Next time you’re upset, step back, take a moment, and reflect on what you truly need. This small step can make a big difference in how you connect with those around you, so you get your needs met.