Listen to this episode
On this episode
No parent wants to think about messing up their kids. We worry about being too controlling or failing to meet their needs perfectly. This can lead us to try and fix every problem for them, smoothing their path and preventing failure.
But kids need to experience challenges and failures. They help build resilience, teach problem-solving skills, and deepen their emotional intelligence. When we encourage them to face difficulties, we teach them they have agency over their lives, and we prepare them for the real world.
In this episode, children’s mental health specialist Dr Beth Mosley sets out how we can give ourselves a break from trying to make everything perfect, and how we can create a safe environment where our kids know they can ask for help. Ultimately this means listening to our gut.
Wanting the best for our children means equipping them for life ahead, teaching them how to manage their emotions and communicate openly. Without these fundamentals, kids can struggle to develop resilience and problem-solving skills, and pick up unhealthy coping mechanisms.
But by embracing imperfection, trusting our instincts, and understanding what our own emotions are telling us, we can model and promote good mental health for our families.
Show links
- More episodes of You Are Not a Frog:
- How to Cope With Your Kids’ Anxiety, Your Colleagues, and Your Own – Episode 186, with Nicky Odgers
- How to Be a (Happy) Working Parent – Episode 121, with Corrina Gordon-Barnes
- The Three-Step Plan for Getting Your Sh*t Together – Episode 202
Download the episode’s podsheet. You can use it for reflection and to submit for your appraisal as part of your CPD.
About the guests
Dr Beth is a consultant clinical psychologist specialising in children’s mental health. She has worked in the NHS for over 20 years, providing specialist mental health support and developing innovative mental health provisions in schools. She is the author of Happy Families: How to Protect and Support Your Child’s Mental Health, published throughout the world.
Follow Dr Beth Mosley MBE
Reasons to listen
- For practical advice on balancing parenting with professional responsibilities and how to avoid overprotective parenting styles
- To learn strategies for helping children and adults manage emotions and build resilience in challenging situations
- To understand the importance of letting kids experience failure and disappointment to develop problem-solving skills and emotional intelligence
Episode highlights
How to screw up your kids
Helicopter and lawnmower parenting
Problem-solving as a parent
What to do when you’ve lost the plot
How to stop fighting worry
Finding your cheerleaders
Window of tolerance
Beth’s top tips
Episode transcript
[00:00:00] Rachel: There’s a poem by Philip block. And you’ve probably heard I’ll paraphrase it slightly, but it opens like this. They muck you up your mum and dad, they may not mean to, but they do. They fill you with the faults they had and add some extra just for you. [00:00:13] Rachel: This week, I’m talking to Dr. Beth Mosley about ways that we can model what good mental health looks like, even if we don’t get it right a hundred percent of the time. How can we strike the right balance between giving our kids a smooth…
