How to Stop Toxic People Pushing All Your Buttons

On this episode

We all meet difficult people who trigger us and push our buttons from time to time. Whether it’s a hostile patient, a passive-aggressive colleague, or someone dominating a conversation without listening, these interactions can leave us feeling dysregulated and unable to think clearly.

When faced with challenging people, our nervous system automatically responds to perceived threats. This threat response can hijack our frontal lobes, making it difficult to make good decisions or respond professionally. The solution lies in understanding our nervous system and learning techniques to regulate ourselves in these situations.

Physical signs of nervous system dysregulation include increased heart rate, difficulty thinking clearly, or feeling overwhelmed. Grounding techniques like slow, regular breathing and mentally repeating supportive affirmations can help reduce those feelings.

When we reflect or take on the other person’s agitated or angry state, we can make poor decisions and escalate conflicts. We might over-diagnose patients out of anxiety, react with inappropriate anger, or internalise criticism that isn’t warranted. These patterns damage our relationships, undermine our professional confidence, and compromise patient care.

In this episode, Dr Claire Plumbly shares simple practices that can create the space needed for your nervous system to regulate and your thinking brain to come back online.