How to Stop Conflict from Turning Ugly

On this episode

Conflict is unavoidable in high-stakes leadership roles. What starts as a simple disagreement can quickly turn toxic when our defensive instincts kick in. This happens because our brain perceives criticism as danger, triggering our inner Rottweiler – that protective part of us that barks and snaps when we feel threatened.

But like a wise dog owner handling a Rottie, we can manage our reactions. We can help the other party feel understood, and demonstrate this through calm body language in order to co-regulate.

When conflict isn’t managed well, it can damage relationships, leading to poor decisions and increased stress. Yes, maybe we’ve won the argument, but we’ve lost the war when it comes to maintaining trust. This avoidance of necessary conversations becomes one of the biggest sources of overwhelm for healthcare leaders.

So the next time you feel your defences rising, take a pause, remind yourself whose side you’re on, and focus on the problem rather than the person. Notice how the energy shifts when you stay connected rather than combative. People move forwards not when they’re convinced you’re right, but when they feel understood.