Episode 137: Shark Music

Have you ever felt like something’s about to go wrong? Maybe you’re avoiding talking to a coworker because whenever you do, it goes badly. Or you triple-check an email because you just know you made a mistake somewhere. These assumptions of impending danger can be stressful and anxiety-inducing. You hear shark music playing louder and louder, certain of your inevitable, impending doom.

We’ve all had shark music playing in different situations, even when there’s no shark out there to get us. But what can we do to stop the music from playing?

Rachel gives a quick tip on facing shark music in this “quick dip” episode of You Are Not a Frog. She shares her experiences of anticipating the worst-case scenario. She talks about why we hear ‘shark music’ in the first place and shares two quick steps you can take to stop it. It’s time to stop assuming the worst and enjoy your life without shark music playing in the background.

Tune in to this episode to hear Rachel’s quick tips on expecting the best and getting rid of your negative assumptions — the imaginary sharks!

Here are three reasons why you should listen to the full episode:

  1. Learn where shark music can come from and what might trigger it for you.

  2. Understand why we make the worst assumptions in different situations.
  3. Find out how you can beat the shark music by assuming the best.

Episode Highlights

[00:28] What It Means to Hear Shark Music

  • Rachel talks about two videos she watched at a parenting course. Both videos showed a beautiful, calming beach. However, in the other video, the Jaws theme song playing in the background turned the scene stressful.

  • Shark music tricks you into imagining that something negative is about to happen. It implies that you are in danger.
  • People can experience it in different situations.
  • One of Rachel’s friends heard shark music whenever she had to talk to her difficult coworker. She was stressed and anxious, always expecting a negative response.

‘It’s our imagination of what is going on below the surface. It’s the way that that music just tricks us into thinking there is going to be something bad happening at any point.’ – Click Here To Tweet This

[04:35] Assumptions of Sharks

‘Now, this shark music comes at different times for all of us. They might be very, very different things that we’re all triggered by.’ – Click Here To Tweet This

  • Shark music can play even when there is no danger present. Instead, we assume that there are sharks out to get you.
  • Music can play in new situations because we’ve had a difficult or upsetting experience in the past.
  • Rachel once saw a pleasant patient that she learned afterwards was a challenge. Fortunately, her interaction was untainted by these previous assumptions.

‘The problem with shark music is that it starts playing even when there aren’t any sharks based on our own assumptions, and we can get shark musics about our patients, about our friends, about our colleagues, about situations that we’ve experienced before that have upset us or that have been really difficult.’ –Click Here To Tweet This

  • We jump to these assumptions because we want to be safe. The amygdala always looks for the threats and assumes the worst.
  • Reacting to these assumptions can make them come true. History ends up repeating itself.

‘I could see them with a beginner’s mind completely, untainted by previous assumptions of what they’re like.’ – Click Here To Tweet This

[07:42] Assuming the Best

  • Rachel shares a story about a student who would come to their house to shower. His philosophy was if you assume that everybody would like you, then they probably would.
  • Assuming the best of each situation is the best way to beat the shark music.
  • Give people the benefit of the doubt, and you’ll find the shark music stops.

‘Steve’s philosophy on life was if you assume that everybody’s gonna like you, then they probably will.’ – Click Here To Tweet This

[09:06] Triggers of Shark Music

  • The next best way to stop your shark music is to identify what makes it play.
  • Being left out of her friendships and feeling like she hasn’t done enough triggers the music for Rachel.
  • For others, it may be because of past bad experiences or fears for the future.
  • People are good at assuming the worst. Catch yourself when you do this to stop hearing shark music.
  • Ask yourself: how would you behave if you knew there wasn’t a shark? You might find that you’d respond much better and enjoy your life.

‘I sometimes get that shark music because I know I forget to do things and I can be quite disorganised sometimes. But for some of you, there will be some shark music that comes up that’s related to stuff that happened in the past, bad experiences that you’ve had, or even your biggest fears for the future. Let’s face it.’ Click Here To Tweet This

[10:52] Stopping the Shark Music

  • Recognise when shark music starts playing for you.
  • Go into your mind and get rid of your assumptions. Give people the benefit of the doubt.
  • If you knew you would be okay, how would you behave?

‘If I knew it was going to be alright, how would I be acting?’ – Click Here To Tweet This

Enjoy This Podcast?

In today’s high-stress work environment, you may feel like a frog in boiling water. The pan has heated up so slowly that you didn’t notice the feeling of stress and overwhelm becoming the norm. You may feel it is impossible to survive AND thrive in your work.

Frogs generally have only two options — stay and be boiled alive or jump out of the pan. Fortunately, you are not a frog. You have many more options, choices, and control than you think. Sometimes there’s a shark, but sometimes, it’s really nothing.

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Rachel

Episode Transcript

Rachel Morris: This is a You are Not a Frog quick dip, a tiny taster of the kinds of things we talk about on our full podcast episodes. I’ve chosen today’s topic to give you a helpful boost in the time it takes to have a cup of tea, so you can return to whatever else you’re up to feeling energised and inspired. For more tools, tips and insights to help you thrive at work, don’t forget to subscribe to You are Not a Frog wherever you get your podcasts.

This week on our quick dip episode, I want to talk about shark music. I remember quite a few years ago, when the kids were really little, I went on a parenting course with my other half and some of our friends. Now, I can’t remember much about the parenting course, only that it was pretty good and pretty helpful, but I do remember one video that they showed us. So they showed us a video, from the viewer’s perspective, of somebody walking down a path towards a beautiful beach.

From the perspective in the video, we pass some gorse bushes, some beautiful plants and some shrubs, and then, it opened out onto this wonderful view of a beach. There were some lovely rock formations in the distance and the waves were gently lapping the shore. The sun was shining. The sky was blue and the water was gorgeous. We’ve watched this feeling totally relaxed, just wishing we could be there. Then, they played the video again.

This time, they put some shark music in the background, so that Jaws theme solid ‘dun-dun, dun-dun’. So as we were walking on this path surrounded by beautiful plants and shrubs, we got to the ocean and all we could hear was ‘dun-dun, dun-dun’. We looked into the water expecting to see a shark anywhere. The scene suddenly turned from a beautiful idyllic relaxing scene to something that was really quite stressful.

Now, those of you that have watched the film Jaws know that it’s not a particularly scarily visual film. I mean, the shark is made from paper mache, I think, or fibreglass or something that won’t melt in the water. At some points, you can see that it is really been constructed really, very, very simply. It is not a scary shark, but what’s really scary about that film is the music. It’s before we’ve even seen the shark.

It’s our imagination of what is going on below the surface. It’s the way that that music just tricks us into thinking there is going to be something bad happening at any point. Actually, when you do see it, the shock is a bit of a relief because it doesn’t move at all, and it’s the most wooden thing you’ve ever seen. Anyway, that shark music is now iconic, isn’t it? But so often, we have the shark music going on for us in all these different situations.

So I was chatting with a friend the other day, and she was working with someone who was really quite difficult to work with. She really needed their advice, but every time she emailed them, she got this shark music in the background ‘dun-dun, dun-dun’. What sort of reply am I going to get? Is it going to be patronising it? Is it going to be difficult? Are they going to criticise me? They’re going to tell me that I’ve done something wrong.

So this was causing her all sorts of anxiety and stress, and it got me thinking about all those other times in our lives when we have the shark music going on in the background. I know that when I was growing up, my friends were really, really important to me, and they still are really, really important to me.

For me, not being invited to something or thinking that other people are doing stuff without me makes me really anxious, so that when one of my children tells me that they haven’t been invited to something like a party, or they might have been left out ‘dun-dun, dun-dun’. Immediately, I’m triggered. I’ve got the shark music in the background that triggers me more, then say that I’m not getting a great grade in a subject or something like that, because I’m projecting what happened to me as a child and my fears onto them.

I’m sure you’ve experienced this when perhaps a child who has had issues with eating just says that they’re not hungry or doesn’t want something, ‘dun-dun, dun-dun’, that shark music again in the background. Now, this shark music comes at different times for all of us. They might be very, very different different things that we’re all triggered by. Sometimes when we see particular relatives, ‘dun-dun, dun-dun’, we get the shark music in the background, and then it feels like they just can’t say or do anything right.

I’m sure you’ve noticed people that you know really well tend to be completely different people when they’re with their in-laws, for example, and they react in ways that you know they would never normally react. That is because of the shark music going on in their heads. What does the shark music imply? It implies an assumption that things are going to go very wrong very, very quickly, that they are in danger.

The problem with shark music is that it starts playing even when there aren’t any sharks based on our own assumptions, and we can get shark music about our patients, about our friends, about our colleagues, about situations that we’ve experienced before that have upset us or that have been really difficult. We apply that shark music to any of the new situations that come across, that we come across.

I remember I was working at a new surgery once, and I saw a patient who was perfectly pleasant. So with him and his wife, we prescribed what we needed to do, and he left happy, I think. Immediately after that appointment, I went to the the staff room for coffee, and one of the other doctors said to me, oh, no, I see you’ve got someone still on your list. Oh, it’s gonna be really, really difficult. I’m so sorry that he’s come to see you, blah, blah, blah.

They didn’t realise that I’d already seen this patient. I was so grateful that I’d already seen them, because if I had seen them after I’d had that conversation, my knowledge would have been really tainted. Yes, this patient had been really, really difficult and had made several complaints about this other doctor, and obviously, something had gone on there, but I didn’t know about it.

I could see them with a beginner’s mind completely, untainted by previous assumptions of what they’re like. So often, we go in with these assumptions, and the reason why our minds jump to these assumptions is because we believe they’re going to keep us safe, because our amygdala, our threat detection system that I talk about all the time, our amygdala looks for threats. It doesn’t look for happy things.

It looks for threats, so it will always see the tiger where there isn’t one. It will always make those assumptions saying, well, look what happened to you last time to keep you safe. It’s much better if we just assume the worst. But assuming the worst means that we’re quite often in our fight, flight or freeze state before anything’s even happened. We end up reacting, which then gets a similar reaction from the person we’re speaking to, and there we go.

History is repeating itself, or it’s been fulfilled what we thought was going to happen anyway. I remember when I was growing up, we had a student who would often come around to our house to have a shower. I’ve no idea why he didn’t have any showers in his hall of residence, but it was the 1980s. Anyway, Steve would turn up and he was always so friendly. Everybody liked Steve and he’d come have a chow, come have a chat with family and off we’d go.

Then, somebody told me Steve’s philosophy on life. Steve’s philosophy on life was if you assume that everybody’s gonna like you, then they probably will. What a great assumption to have. He had decided that he was not going to have that shark music in the background for him when he was meeting new people. He was going to assume the best. So assuming the best is always the way to beat the shark music.

Assume good intent from that person in front of you, assume that they’re not out to get you, assume that actually probably they’re much more worried about themselves and getting what they need. Don’t assume that things are done for a malicious reason. Often, they’re done because of ignorance, because people don’t know the right thing to do. People often aren’t out to get you. So giving people the benefit of the doubt can really help to get rid of that shark music.

Secondly, what we need to do is actually identify when we get that shark music. It’s gonna be different for everybody. For me, it’s around friendships and things like that quite often. For me, it’s if I feel that I haven’t done enough to help someone, and I might be implicitly criticised.

I sometimes get that shark music because I know I forget to do things and I can be quite disorganised sometimes. But for some of you, there will be some shark music that comes up that’s related to stuff that happened in the past, bad experiences that you’ve had, or even your biggest fears for the future. Let’s face it. One thing we are very good at doing is projecting into the future to catastrophising, to thinking we know what people are thinking to think of it’s all going to go completely wrong.

Recognise what triggers you, recognise when you’ve got that shark music playing in the background. Catch yourself doing it, and then here’s what I’d like you to do. I’d like you to ask yourself in this situation here, if I knew that everything was going to be okay, how would I be responding right here, right now? If I knew it was going to be alright, how would I be acting?

Because if you knew that, then actually, if you knew that the shark wasn’t going to eat you, that actually there wasn’t a shark, you’d be jumping straight into that water. You’d be having a lovely swim, and you wouldn’t be hyper vigilant. You wouldn’t be shouting at the kids to stay in the shallows where I can see you and watch out. You’d just be enjoying life. You’d be in your parasympathetic zone rather than your sympathetic fight, flight or freeze zone, and you’d be responding much, much better.

So I just wanted to talk to you about shark music. For me, recognising when it’s happening to me is really, really important. Going in with beginner’s mind, trying to get rid of any assumptions about how I feel people are going to act, giving people the benefit of the doubt and then asking that killer question, if I knew it was going to be okay, how would I be behaving right now?

So try it next time you’re in your shark music mode, and just see what happens. I’d love to hear any of your comments and any of your thoughts and I’ll see you for the next quick tip episode. Bye for now.

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Podcast Links

Jaws theme song by John Williams

Jaws (1975)

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Reach out to Rachel at hello@yourenotafrog.com.

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Dr Nik Kendrew unravels why we experience overwhelming guilt when bad things happen to us. He also shares some tips, techniques, and resources on how to deal with guilt, especially in these difficult times and circumstances. Apart from this, Nik talks about the significance of scheduling our entire day to do important things. Finally, he discusses why setting boundaries is necessary to maintain our sense of self.

Episode 99: How to Deal with Criticism When You’ve Reached Your Limit with Dr Sarah Coope and Dr Rachel Morris

Dr Sarah Coope joins me to talk about the workload of medical professionals and the benefits of setting boundaries while dealing with criticisms amidst the global pandemic. We discuss the three elements of the Drama Triangle and ways to navigate or avoid them reliably. As we dive deeper into the conversation, we explore the art of saying 'No' through acknowledging our limits. Awareness and recognition can go a long way in maintaining our boundaries. If you want to take the first step in recognising your limits, handling criticism better and setting proper boundaries, tune in to this episode.

Episode 96 – How to Deal with Difficult Meetings with Jane Gunn

We hear from the expert in conflict management and mediation, Jane Gunn. She discusses important tips to keep in mind to host great meetings. She shares some practical conflict management tips and how to make decisions that you and your team agree on. Jane also emphasises the importance of putting the fun back in functional meetings and the need to give a voice to participants.

Episode 93 – How to Delegate, Do It, or Drop It with Anna Dearmon Kornick

Anna Dearmon Kornick joins us to share the time management strategies crucial for busy professionals. She lays down tips on how medical practitioners can have more control over their days. Anna talks about how to manage admin time and imparts ways to combat distractions. We also discuss the importance of delegation both inside and outside work. For this, Anna introduces the passion-proficiency lens and knowing your zone of genius.

Episode 92 – How to Avoid Becoming the Second Victim with Dr Caraline Wright & Dr Lizzie Sweeting

Dr Caraline Wright and Dr Lizzie Sweeting join us to discuss the second victim phenomenon. They explain why patient safety incidents are occupational hazards and how they can affect healthcare providers. Caraline then shares her personal experience of being in the “second victim” role. Finally, they share tips on how to avoid second victimhood and how to provide support to someone going through it.

Episode 91 – How to Break Up With Your Toxic Relationship With Your Career with Dr Pauline Morris

Dr Pauline Morris joins us to share her career counselling advice for physicians and other professionals in high stress jobs. We discuss the common pitfalls that lead doctors to unsustainable work habits. Pauline also sheds light on why staying in your comfort zone can be detrimental to your performance. To avert this, she shares tips on how to better recognise and advocate for your own needs. We also learn about the importance of self-care and taking time for yourself.

Episode 90 – What to do About Bitching and Backbiting with Dr Edward Pooley

Dr Edward Pooley joins us again to discuss what to do when colleagues make inappropriate comments about others. We talk about why it’s crucial to consider the question behind the question in workplace backbiting. Ed also teaches us how to challenge in a supportive way. Most importantly, we learn some strategies to prepare ourselves to speak up when the situation requires it.

Episode 89 – Should I stay or should I go? with Corrina Gordon-Barnes

Corrina Gordon-Barnes joins us to share how to better relationships and take control and stay in your zone of power. She shares how to make a good decision by questioning thoughts and assumptions. We also discuss how you can change your perspective to become more compassionate, accepting, and empowered. If you want to know how to better relationships, stay in your zone of power, improve your decision-making skills, and be true to yourself, then tune in to this episode!

Episode 88 – How to Ditch the Saviour Complex and Feel More Alive with Rob Bell

Rob Bell joins us in this episode to discuss the perils of the saviour complex and the desire to keep hustling even when we’re miserable. We learn that taking time for rest and reflection only helps us get stronger. You can’t heal and help rebuild a broken system if you don’t look out for yourself first. Tune in to this episode to find out how to ditch the saviour complex, feel happier and live a more fulfilling life.

Episode 87 – Complaints and How to Survive Them Episode 5: What Should I Do When I Think a Complaint is Unfair? And Other Questions with Drs Sarah Coope, George Wright, Samantha White, and Andrew Tressider

We’re joined by a panel of expert guests to share their thoughts on how to handle complaints. Together, we discuss ways that you can adjust your perspective and respond to unfavourable situations. Most importantly, we tackle issues regarding malicious complaints and how to cope with them. If you’re having trouble managing yourself during complaints, then this episode is for you.

Episode 86 – Gaslighting and Other Ways We’re Abused at Work: What’s Really Going On? with Dr James Costello

Dr James Costello joins us to talk about his new book and the insidious ways that organisations and individuals can undermine us. They compel us to do extra emotional labour for us to cope with the workplace dynamics. We also chat about what happens when authority and power are misused. Finally, James shares some of the disastrous consequences bullying in the workplace can have and what we can do about it. Tune in if you want to know what to do if you suspect that you or a colleague are experiencing relational abuse in the workplace!

Episode 85 – How to have crucial conversations with Dr Edward Pooley

Good communication between colleagues is crucial for the success of any organisation. Dr Edward Pooley joins us again to teach us how to communicate well. He discusses the three strands present in any conversation and helps us understand how we can be more aware of each. We also share some frameworks that can help you navigate difficult conversations. Understanding the importance of emotion is crucial in being an effective communicator and connecting with your team.

Episode 84 – Complaints and How to Survive Them Episode 4: Creating a Workplace Where It’s OK to Fail

Professor Susan Fairley and Dr Jane Sturgess join us to discuss how to create a workplace that doesn’t shy away from failure. We talk about how civility can save lives and also touch on the issues around incident reporting in healthcare. Most importantly, we talk about creating a culture where people can have difficult conversations without defensiveness. If you want to know how to approach failing and speaking up in the workplace, tune in to this episode.

Episode 83 – The Ups and Downs of Being a Man-Frog with Dr Chris Hewitt

Joining us in this episode is Dr Chris Hewitt who also uses the metaphor of a man-frog in coaching professionals to have a better work-life balance. Chris talks about why we find it so hard to recognise burnout. He also shares his top tips and practical strategies to address work dissatisfaction. If you want to stop feeling like a man (or woman) - frog in a pan of slowly boiling water, listen to the full episode.

Episode 82 – Complaints and How to Survive Them Series Episode 3: Surviving the Process

Drs Jessica Harland, Caroline Walker and Heidi Mousney join us in this episode to discuss healthcare professionals’ experiences when dealing with complaints. We talk about the different emotions you may experience and practical tips on getting through. If you want to know how to survive the process after making a mistake at work and receiving a complaint, stay tuned to this episode.

Episode 81 – When Soft and Fluffy Met Coronavirus with Steve Andrews

Steve Andrews, Associate Director of Leadership for East and North Herts NHS Trust shares how, through using just five crucial questions, you can check in on people, rather than check up on them. The 5 questions will help you to find out how people really are, help them look out for their colleagues, empower them to solve their own problems AND communicate empathy and support. Want to know how you can apply compassionate leadership in your organisation? Then, this episode is for you.

Episode 80 – Complaints and How to Survive Them Episode 2: What to Do When You Make a Mistake with Drs Clare Devlin and Dr John Powell

Drs Clare Devlin and John Powell join us to discuss the proper way of responding to professional mistakes. We talk about why doctors have a hard time whenever they make a mistake at work. Clare and John also share valuable advice on minimising negative consequences and getting a good outcome for you and your patient. If you want to learn a roadmap for what you should do you make a mistake at work, then tune in to this episode.

Episode 79 – How to Give Yourself Permission to Thrive with Dr Katya Miles

Dr Katya Miles joins us once again to talk about burnout and giving ourselves permission to thrive. Having experienced work burnout, Katya shares her story and discusses the red flags of burnout. We also talk about why we find it difficult to give ourselves permission to thrive and how we can overcome our own internal barriers. If you want to learn about how you can listen to your needs so that you can thrive in work and in life, then this episode is for you.

Episode 78 – Complaints and How to Survive Them Series 1: Preparing to Fail Well with Drs Sarah Coope, Annalene Weston and Sheila Bloomer

Drs Sarah Coope, Annalene Weston and Sheila Bloomer join us in this first episode in a new series on ‘Complaints and How to Survive Them’ to talk about coaching doctors and dentists through complaints made against them. We also talk about the perfectionist mindset and how changing our perspective towards failure can help us and those around us. If you want to know how to deal better with complaints made against doctors and other professionals in high-stress jobs, stay tuned to this episode.

Episode 77 – Denial, displacement and other ways we neglect ourselves with Dr Andrew Tresidder

Dr Andrew Tresidder joins us to talk about how many medical practitioners and other professionals in healthcare and high stress jobs neglect their health and well-being. We're so focused on taking care of others that we forget to take care of ourselves but our well-being is vital if we want to keep doing the work we do. Find out why healthcare professionals need to learn more about health, as opposed to only learning about disease and if you want to know how to focus on taking care of your health and well-being, stay tuned to this episode.

Episode 76 – Tech Tips for Happy Hybrid Working with Dr Hussain Gandhi

Dr Hussain Gandhi, or Dr Gandalf of eGPlearning, joins us in this episode. He is a GP, PCN director and host of the eGP Learning Podblast that shares deep dives into health tech for primary care. He shares his tech and time hacks for hybrid working to survive and thrive in the new virtual environment. If you want to find out how to improve your hybrid working experience, then tune in to this episode!

Episode 75 – How to Escape the Drama Triangle and Stop Rescuing People with Annie Hanekom

Annie Hanekom joins us to shed light on the different roles which interact in the drama triangle. She shares the pitfalls of taking on each role and how we can actively shift from these roles into something better, fostering healthier relationships at work. If you want to know more about how you can step out of the drama triangle, have better conversations and build healthier relationships with your colleagues, make sure you tune in to this episode.

Episode 74 – Managing your Time in a System Which Sucks with Dr Ed Pooley

Dr Ed Pooley joins us in this episode to share his take on time management techniques for busy individuals. He discusses the three types of competing demands and how to manage them. We also talk about being more comfortable holding difficult conversations about workplace issues - vital to help change the environment we work in. Tune into this episode to discover how time management techniques and communication can help you get a calmer and more time-efficient workplace.

Episode 73 – How to Find Your Tribe: The PMGUK story with Dr Nazia Haider and Dr Katherine Hickman

Dr Nazia Haider and Dr Katherine Hickman join us on this episode to discuss the importance of a work community. We talk about the inspiring stories from the online community they created, the Physicians Mums Group UK (PMGUK). Nazia and Katherine also share their tips on how to increase connections and find your own tribe at work. If you want to know how to create a network of supportive colleagues and feel more connected, then tune into this episode.

Episode 72 – Working well – from anywhere! with Dr Katya Miles

Dr Katya Miles joins us to discuss how to work well from home by creating healthy boundaries. She shares how to be more productive by using the third space hack and taking breaks. Katya also talks about how to be more active and better connect with people in the workplace. If you want to learn about working well from home and achieving a better work-life balance, then tune in to this episode.

Episode 71 – Create a Career You’ll Love with Dr Claire Kaye

Dr Claire Kaye joins us to discuss how to find a career you love. As an executive coach specialising in career development, Claire is an expert in guiding people how to find a career they love. We talk about the value of job networking and diversifying in our career journeys. We also share our tips and experiences on how to find a career you love. We do this by helping you identify the roles that best suit you and how to go about getting these roles.

Episode 70 – How Safe Do You Feel at Work with Scott Chambers

Scott Chambers joins us to talk about why we need to make people feel comfortable and safe enough to speak up in their workplace. When we create psychological safety in our team, we improve overall happiness and boost performance! If you want to learn how to create psychological safety for a better and happier team - whether you’re the boss or not, stay tuned to this episode.

Episode 69 – Make Time for What Matters with Liz O’Riordan

Liz O'Riordan joins us to share productivity life hacks. These have helped her transform how she approaches work. Now, Liz can spend quality time with her family and enjoy life. In this episode, she teaches us how we too can achieve this. If you want to learn some new life hacks, beat burnout and work happier, then tune in to this episode!

Episode 68 – The Revolutionary Art of Breathing with Richard Jamieson

Richard Jamieson discusses how we can utilise breathing techniques to feel calmer, make better decisions and be more productive. He explains the different steps we can take to change our breathing patterns. When you’re in a high-stress situation, remember this: just breathe. If you want to know how to use breathing techniques to beat stress in everyday situations, stay tuned to this episode.

Episode 67 – Bringing Your Best Self to Work with Dr Sarah Goulding

Dr Sarah Goulding discusses how to bring your whole self to work without leaving bits of you behind. Sarah shares her own story of experiencing burnout at her old job and rediscovering her true passion. We also discuss how applying our core strengths to our jobs can mean the difference between burnout and having a sense of fulfilment. Don’t miss out on this episode if you want to learn more about how to be yourself and how to bring joy back into your work!

Episode 65 – Passing the Naughty Monkey Back with Dr Amit Sharma

Dr Amit Sharma joins us to discuss the effects of taking on too many of other people’s ‘naughty monkeys’. We talk about why professionals in high-stress jobs so often take on the rescuer role and how to shift that mindset. Amit and I also discuss the importance of empowering patients to take control of their own health. If you want to know how to avoid being weighed down by too many naughty monkeys, stay tuned to this episode.

Episode 64 – What to Do When You’re Out of Fuel with Dr Jess Harvey

Dr Jess Harvey, a GP partner and GB triathlete, talks about what happened to her after running out of fuel and feeling burnt out. She discusses how we often ignore the symptoms and signs for too long and why resting and refuelling is as important as what we're doing in the first place. If you’re feeling burnt out, tune in to this episode to find out how you can plug the holes in your energy bucket!

Episode 63 – How to Survive Even When Times are Tough with Dr Caroline Walker

This episode is part of the COVID-19 Supporting Doctors series, and joining us again is Dr Caroline Walker. She's here to discuss why rest is crucial, especially for people in high-stress jobs. Caroline also shares key strategies that can keep us going through the crisis. The previous year has been tough, so don’t miss this episode to start 2021 better prepared.

Episode 62 – Self-Coaching for Success with Dr Karen Castille, OBE

Dr Karen Castille joins me in this episode to discuss her book on self-coaching. She shares powerful questions to ask yourself which will jumpstart your self-coaching journey. She also talks about the importance of developing this vital skill and crafting powerful life questions. Before we close the show, Karen gives her top tips for self-coaching. Don’t miss this episode if you want to learn how you can find clarity and achieve success through self-coaching!

Episode 61 – The Self Help Book Group on Happiness with Dr Nik Kendrew

In this episode, You Are Not A Frog regular Dr Nik Kendrew joins me to discuss the concept of happiness. We tackle the everlasting question of ‘What is happiness’? We also talk about perfectionism and fear and how these can hinder us from doing the things we want to do. At the end of the show, Nik and I give our top tips to being happier. If you want to know more about living a happy life, then this episode is for you.

Episode 60 – Creating a Workplace that Works with Dr Sonali Kinra

Dr Sonali Kinra joins us to discuss why people leave their jobs and how to prevent it. We talk about the importance of workplace culture and its role in creating an environment that makes people want to stay. We also discuss why you need to seek opportunities that broaden and develop your career. Don’t miss this episode if you want to find out how to keep yourself in a job you love.

Episode 59 – A Social Dilemma? With Dr James Thambyrajah

In this episode, Dr James Thambyrajah joins us to talk about social media’s subtle yet profound effect on our daily lives. We discuss the perils of being unaware of how our online decisions are influenced. James also shares his insights on how we can improve how we stay informed and inform others. Tune in to this episode if you want to learn more about how to go beyond your digital echo chamber.

Episode 55 – The One About Alcohol

Dr Giles P Croft is back to chat with Rachel about his experiences following a revolutionary read he was recommended. You might remember Giles from episode 46, where he talked about how as humans, we naturally default to happiness.

Episode 52 – A year of the frog

The week’s episode is a special one as the Frog celebrates a year of podcasting! It’s been quite a year - including charting in Apple’s Top 100 Business Podcasts in the UK!

Episode 50 – Freeing yourself from the money trap

Joining Rachel in this week’s episode is Dr Tommy Perkins, as well as being a GP Partner, and father, Tommy is one half of Medics Money. Medics Money is an organisation specifically aimed at helping doctors make better decisions with their finances. It’s run by Tommy and Dr Ed Cantelo who is not only a doctor but a qualified accountant.

Episode 49 – The Self Help Book Group No 2 with Nik Kendrew

This week Rachel is joined by You Are Not A Frog regular, Nik Kendrew. Last time Nik joined us, we discussed a book that has helped him in his professional life as a GP, trainer and partner as well as his personal life. Nik’s back this week to talk about another brilliant book and to share what insights and learnings he’s gained from it.

Episode 47 – How to Have a Courageous Conversation

Rachel talks with Beccie D'Cunha about the conversations that we avoid and the conversations we really need to have with our colleagues, teams and managers. They can be described as difficult conversations, but we can redefine them as courageous conversations - because ultimately it takes courage for both parties to listen and be heard.

Episode 46 – Default to happy

Rachel talks with Dr Giles P Croft about his take on how to beat stress and burnout. Giles  is a psychology graduate and former NHS surgeon who stepped aside from clinical practice for a decade to explore a number of career paths, including health informatics, cycling journalism, public speaking and high street retail with his wife.

Episode 45 – Rest. The final frontier

Rachel is joined by Sheela Hobden, Professional Certified Coach, wellbeing expert and fellow Shapes Toolkit facilitator. We talk about why rest isn’t just important for wellbeing, but important for productivity and creativity too. 

Episode 40 – Leading with tough love with Gary Hughes

In this episode, Rachel is joined by Gary Hughes, author of the book Leadership in Practice, blogger, educator and facilitator who is a Practice Manager by day. We chat about how leadership in the COVID-19 crisis has had to adapt, and the different roles that a leader has had to take.

Episode 37 – How to manage conflict during COVID with Jane Gunn

Rachel is thrilled to welcome back Jane Gunn – lawyer, mediator and expert in conflict resolution who has been known as the Corporate Peacemaker. This episode is for you if the thought of addressing a difficult issue with one of your colleagues send you running for the hills…

Episode 20 – A creative solution to stress with Ruth Cocksedge

In this episode, Rachel is joined by Ruth Cocksedge a Practitioner Psychologist who started her career as a mental health nurse. She practices in Cambridge and has a particular interest in EMDR for PTSD and creative writing as a way to improve mental health and wellbeing.

Episode 11 – The magical art of reading sweary books

In this episode, Rachel is joined once again by Dr Liz O’Riordan, the ‘Breast Surgeon with Breast Cancer’, TEDx speaker, author, blogger, triathlete and all round superstar who has been nominated for ‘Woman of the Year’.

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2022-11-23T02:32:31+01:00