10th November, 2020

Very Nice People and Other Deadly Perils

With Rachel Morris

Dr Rachel Morris

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On this episode

What could be harming you when it comes to spending time with very nice people? Why does this week’s guest stick a picture of a chimp to her computer monitor? And what is the question we should ask ourselves before we say yes to an invitation?

This week’s episode is a retrospective on what the first lockdown and subsequent ways of living and working have taught us about the importance of connection.

With working practices limiting direct contact with other people as part of the COVID crisis, finding ways to connect with your colleagues may need a little inventive thinking, Jo and Rachel offer some great tips on this.

The key to getting these strong connections is finding common ground, offering feedback, self disclosure and vulnerability. 

A good friend at work can really help you see things differently when you are overloaded with stress and your inner chimp is likely to escape – take a listen to understand how Jo uses the chimp metaphor in a very real sense as a flag to her colleagues!

Not all connections are equal, some can drain your energy more than you realise. 

Our connections are categorised into one of 4 groups, our VIPs give us energy, whilst Very Nice People (VNPs)  tend not to reflect that energy back to us. 

Making sure you find enough time with the right people is really important. And that may mean learning to say no to some invitations. Jo offers some great advice here including to ask yourself; if you say yes to this, what are you saying no to?

Top tips on maintaining better connections:

In work: 

* Have connection at the forefront of your mind. Change your route, plan a coffee break, keep your door open.
* Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable, people will trust you more.

In life:

* Take a look at who your VIPs are and make sure you’re spending enough time with them.

Our Stop Start Continue checklist can help you assess how strong your connections are (amongst other things)- you can download your copy of the [checklist here](https://www.shapestoolkit.com/start-stop-continue-toolkit). 

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