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Episode 311

Category: Mindset

How to Use Clean Language to Stop Rescuing and Really Feel Your Feelings

We spend so much time avoiding our uncomfortable feelings. As doctors and healthcare professionals, we push through at pace, suppress what we’re experiencing, and convince ourselves we’ll deal with it later. We distract ourselves, blame others, or try to think our way out of emotions instead of actually feeling them.

The solution is to get better at feeling, not to feel better. When we stay with uncomfortable feelings and allow them to move through our bodies, the emotional energy naturally dissipates. We can use clean language questions, shared by this week’s guest, to help us connect with our inner experience without judgment or the need to fix anything.

When we continue to suppress our emotions, we’re not just blocking out fear and anger. We’re also dialling down joy, connection, and love. That emotional energy builds up in our bodies, triggering chronic stress responses that manifest as physical symptoms. We snap at colleagues and family members. We lose our capacity to be present with patients. We become frightened of our own feelings and of other people’s emotions too.

The next time you notice discomfort arising, pause. Place your hand where you feel it in your body. Ask yourself what kind of feeling it is, and simply stay with it for a few moments. Trust that the feeling will pass through you if you allow it, rather than trying to push it away or fix it immediately.

About the guest(s)

photo me - Tamsin Hartley.jpg

After working as a physiotherapist for 10 years, Tamsin retrained to work as a coach, trainer and workshop facilitator.

She has combined the principles of mindful awareness with exploration using Clean Language questions to create the Listening Space, a respectful way of working with peoples’ metaphors that is both resourceful and richly creative.

She is the author of The Listening Space: A New Path to Personal Discovery, and is in the process of writing her next book, Coming to Calm: Mindful Tools for Everyday Life.

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