Listen to this episode
On this episode
We all experience shame from time to time, but when it becomes toxic, we can end up in a shame spiral from which it’s difficult to escape. When we’re called out on something about which we feel shameful, it can make us defensive. And so often, no-one can punish us as harshly as we punish ourselves.
In this quick dip episode, Rachel shares her strategy to break free from shame spirals and cultivate a healthier mindset; by sharing our shame, taking some perspective, and seeking support from others. She unpacks her SHAME model that was inspired by a recent spiral, which is a simple five-step framework for working through the sensations of shame and finding a way to be kinder to ourselves.
Shame doesn’t make us better people – it only makes us harder on ourselves and leads to us being defensive. So this episode offers a chance to break free of that spiral, remember that we’re human, and remind ourselves we’re doing our best.
Show links
More episodes of You Are Not a Frog:
- How Do You Say No When Someone Might Die? – Episode 193
- Why Can’t I Say No? – Episode 163
- How Perfectionism and Shame Lead to Stress and Burnout – 152 with Sandy Miles
- How to Avoid Becoming the Second Victim – Episode 92 with Dr Caraline Wright & Dr Lizzie Sweeting
Download the episode’s workbook and CPD form. You can use them for reflection and to submit for your appraisal.
Reasons to listen
- To discover how shame can impact our internal mindset and contribute to burnout
- To learn about the complex nature of shame and how it shows up
- To explore strategies and techniques to break free from shame spirals and cultivate a healthier mindset
Episode highlights
What’s on your pop bottle label?
When our actions clash with our values
What our ingrained stories tell us
Share your shame
Hang outwith useless friends
Awe
Multiple identities
Empathy and understanding
Episode transcript
[00:00:00] **Rachel:** Today. I’d like to talk a little bit about shame and what happens when we don’t think that we’re good enough. Because I’ve been saying a lot of podcasts recently, particularly in 2023 around shame around fear around guilt and this all stems from my belief that we get burned out, not because of external circumstances, but because of our internal mindset, because when we try and say no, when we try and set boundaries to allow ourselves to keep ourselves well, fit, happy, connected, the thing that stops us is this feeling of over-responsibility and the feeling…
