Why You’re Stressed When Everyone Else is Calm

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When we’re stressed, it’s natural to want to take control – no-one likes feeling helpless, after all. But if stress comes from the stories our mind creates – rather than the situations themselves – how can we begin to tell ourselves a more helpful story, or better yet, see it simply as a story we’re watching play out?

Discomfort and unhappiness often arises when our expectations don’t meet reality. So when we get pulled into unhelpful thinking patterns, the best thing to do is be present, and not attach ourselves too tightly to what we think “should” be happening.

But as this conversation with Giles P Croft reveals, it’s easier said than done, and it isn’t something we can simply decide to do. As the Scottish mystic Sydney Banks said, “wisdom is not learned, it is unfolded from within”.

The next time you encounter a problem, try letting go of the urge to solve it straight away. Focus on one small, meaningful action you can take, and trust that clarity will come as you step out of the noise of your mind.

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More episodes of You Are Not a Frog:

The 5 Different Types of Burnout – And How to Prevent Them – Episode 270, with Dr Paula Redmond
Eff it Living. An Evidence-Based Way to Beat Stress and Change Your Life – Episode 15, with John C Parkin
How to Choose What Kind of Problem You Want – Episode 257

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About the guests

Giles is a transformative coach who helps his clients understand how the mind works and how they experience the world. Through this understanding, he guides them to find inner peace and reconnect with their health and happiness.

Before working as a coach, Giles worked as a medical doctor with the NHS and as a project manager at the Royal College of Physicians.

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Reasons to listen

To explore how stress is created by the mind and how to detach from unhelpful thought patterns
To understand how moral injury impacts professionals in high-pressure environments
For practical ways to approach challenges with clarity and presence, focusing on actionable next steps