Listen to this episode
On this episode
We often turn other people’s problems into our own, taking on undue stress and responsibility. This can make us overwork and feel guilty about things outside our control.
What we need is to distinguish between “you” problems and “me” problems. This begins with us identifying what’s in our zone of power and focusing on the consequences that matter directly to us.
From there, we can start
- assessing whether the issue truly affects us
- understanding that others can solve their own issues
- choosing what we want to take on
It’s crucial to let others face the consequences of their actions, as this encourages personal responsibility and growth. Because when we absorb their problems, we end up stressed and overwhelmed, and nothing changes for the better.
So the next time someone presents an issue, ask yourself if it’s really your problem to solve. This simple question can free you from unnecessary guilt and allow you to focus on what truly matters.
Show links
More episodes of You Are Not a Frog:
- How to Set a Boundary No-one Can Break – Episode 220
- How to Be a (Happy) Working Parent – Episode 121 with Corrina Gordon Barnes
- How to Keep Going in a Struggling System – Episode 232 with Dr Sarah Coope
Reasons to listen
- To discover how to reduce unnecessary stress and responsibility
- For practical strategies to set boundaries and avoid taking on problems that aren’t yours to solve
- To understand the importance of letting others face the consequences of their actions
Episode highlights
It’s a “you” problem
When we protect people from consequences
Zone of Power
What are the consequences?
Why should it be a “me” problem?
How much do you care?
What are the long-term consequences
Over the Christmas period
Episode transcript
[00:00:00] Rachel: I remember 18 years ago when my second child was about three months old, I was talking to a woman in the toddler group where I used to go every Wednesday morning with the kids. And she had had a baby about a month ago and it was her second child as well. She was very upset and annoyed. She said to me, I don’t understand. I thought that being part of this group, we were supposed to get a meal rota when we have our babies. [00:00:26] Rachel: And I remember feeling absolutely awful about this. And…
