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Episode 315

Category: Mindset

Why ‘I Have To’ Is Keeping You Stuck (And What To Say Instead)

How many times this week have you thought “I just don’t have a choice”? About your rota, your inbox, the extra patient squeezed in at the end of clinic? That thought feels true, and it can feel like a fact… But what if it’s actually a story, and that story is costing you your peace of mind?

In this episode, Rachel talks with Robbie Swale, author of The Power to Choose and the creator of the 12 Minute Method, about what choice actually means when you are working inside a system that seems to hold all the cards.

Robbie is clear that this is not about toxic positivity or telling people they are victims of their own thinking. He knows that some choices are genuinely unpalatable. But he also knows, after years of coaching leaders in high-pressure environments, that people consistently underestimate the options in front of them, and overestimate how stuck they are.

Together, he and Rachel explore the language we use inside our own heads, why “I have to” puts your nervous system into threat mode, and why switching to “I choose to” shifts something fundamental, even when the task itself has not changed.

Whether you are a GP, a consultant, a nurse, or a leader trying to hold your team together, this episode offers something rare: a warm, unrushed conversation about agency, values, and what it means to spend your time on the things that actually matter. You will leave with concrete ways to start reclaiming small pieces of choice and a question worth sitting with long after the episode ends. What would you need to do today so that, whatever the outcome, you would feel at peace with yourself?

About the guest(s)

Robbie Swale is a coach for leaders in complex roles and the author of The Power to Choose and the 12-Minute Method series of books on productivity, procrastination, and getting started. He helps people move from feeling like life is happening to them, to building a life created by them.

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