Episode 145: How to Know if You’re Being ‘Resilience Victim Blamed’

What is your first thought when you think of the word ‘resilience’? For many professionals and organisations, this means becoming superhuman — someone who can do anything despite the stress, heavy workload, and emotions. Not only is this perspective wrong, but it’s also impossible!

We’re all human. So why do we expect perfection?

In this episode, Rachel dives into the concept of resilience victim blaming and how you’re led to think it’s your fault when you can’t perform superhuman standards. Resilience is about choices and shifting how you respond to situations. You have a choice, even if you don’t think so now. In fact, you may even need to make tough decisions for the sake of your well-being.

If you want to know how to become more resilient and prioritise choices for your welfare, stay tuned to this episode.

Here are three reasons why you should listen to the full episode:

  1. Understand the true meaning of resilience.

  2. Discover how to thrive in your workplace and take back control of your life.
  3. Overcome learned helplessness by choosing for yourself.

Episode Highlights

[00:29] How Time Affects Well-Being

  • The biggest barrier to well-being is neither knowledge nor money. It is the lack of time and headspace for well-being.

  • Many professionals and organisations often get resilience wrong.

  • They think resilience means to become superhuman or change the current system with superficial improvements.

‘The biggest barrier to well-being is not knowledge. It’s not money. It’s not anything apart from the time and the headspace to be able to put those well-being factors into place.’ – Click Here To Tweet This

‘When organisations put fruit bowls into their offices and maybe give you a cycle to work scheme… it can feel really irritating and sometimes does more harm than good. People think to themselves, “They’re only doing this because it’s so awful to work here.”’ – Click Here To Tweet This

[03:39] You Can’t Wait Around for Systemic Change

  • People say resilience is akin to pulling bodies out of a river and sending them back to work.

  • Quick and superficial fixes are not enough. The system needs to change.
  • However, most of us are not in a position to change the system.
  • Systems are also complex. You will get nowhere if you wait for change to happen.

[04:52] How to Thrive in the Workplace

  • Successful workplaces need both a good environment and resilient people.

  • Even the most resilient person will burn out in a toxic workplace environment.
  • If you’re currently in a toxic workplace, ask yourself these questions: Are you staying there for the right or wrong reasons? Can you go work somewhere else?
  • If you have authority over work culture, take action to ensure it’s not toxic.

‘If you put somebody who has a lot of really good resilience skills in an absolutely toxic, very difficult organisation, and you tell them they just have to produce results, and that person works and works, and sets no boundaries, that person will also burn out.’ – Click Here To Tweet This

[07:00] The Choice to Overcome Learned Helplessness

  • True resilience is about the choices you make, given your circumstances.

  • Create small wins and rebuild informal connections. Give yourself breaks, no matter how short.
  • You always have a choice. Don’t let learned helplessness affect how you look after yourself and your work.
  • Healthcare professionals have become used to doing more than what they’re paid to do. In return, GPs are leaving their jobs because of its effects on their well-being.
  • You can’t keep on working harder. You’ll eventually have to say no.

‘Many of us have this learned helplessness, thinking that there is nothing we can do. [But we] always have a choice. There are lots of small things that we can do.’ – Click Here To Tweet This

‘In the past, we’ve been able to absorb the extra work… You just don’t notice it anymore because we are so used to doing it. They say that if people stop doing that extra work, then the NHS would just collapse.’ – Click Here To Tweet This

‘You can’t work harder and harder anymore. You need to make some difficult choices… That involves saying no to some things, and saying no is difficult.’ – Click Here To Tweet This

[11:06] How to Prioritise

  • Before knowing when to say no, you need to identify when you need to say yes.
  • What do you need to prioritise? How can you look after yourself? How can you change your mindset?
  • You can either change your environment or change how you respond to your surroundings.
  • Know what you need in order to thrive.
  • Remember, resilience is not being superhuman. It’s about your choices.

‘Well-being and resilience is not about helping you become more superhuman so that you can survive in a stressed and broken system.’ – Click Here To Tweet This

Enjoy This Podcast?

In today’s high-stress work environment, you may feel like a frog in boiling water. The pan has heated up so slowly that you didn’t notice the feeling of stress and overwhelm becoming the norm. You may feel it is impossible to survive AND thrive in your work.

Frogs generally have only two options — stay and be boiled alive or jump out of the pan. Fortunately, you are not a frog. You have many more options, choices, and control than you think. Sometimes there’s a shark, but sometimes, it’s really nothing.

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Here’s to surviving and thriving inside and outside our work!

Rachel

Episode Transcript

Rachel Morris: This is a You Are Not A Frog Quick Dip, a tiny taster of the kinds of things we talk about on our full podcast episodes. I’ve chosen today’s topic to give you a helpful boost in the time it takes to have a cup of tea, so you can return to whatever else you’re up to feeling energised and inspired. For more tools, tips and insights to help you thrive at work, don’t forget to subscribe to You Are Not A Frog wherever you get your podcasts.

When I first started teaching well-being and resilience, I went into some law firms to do some lunchtime learning sessions. I was doing a session on well-being for a load of young female lawyers, and we were talking about the various well-being factors, and how to fit them into your life, and how to get a bit of time to do that. I realised that they weren’t really listening. They were checking their phone a lot.

I said to them, ‘I’m just getting a feeling that a lot of what we’re talking about isn’t really landing, I just wanted to sort of check what’s going on for you.’ And they said, ‘No, this is all really good stuff. All this well-being stuff, we can see how important it is. But we just don’t have any time to do it. We just don’t have any chance of getting to any of this at all.’ That was the first time that I had realised how intricately connected well-being, resilience, and time management really, really were.

Because the biggest barrier to well-being is not knowledge. It’s not money. It’s not anything apart from the time and the headspace to be able to put those well-being factors into place. Because anything that’s on the list of well-being factors that I talk about all the time, such as connecting with people, doing physical activity, eating well, stopping to notice all those things take a little bit of time, certainly, to plan, if not even just to do.

If you’re short on time, then quite often you feel that your well-being is suffering because you aren’t able to get those things in. This is where I think professionals and organisations get resilience so wrong. They think that either resilience is about teaching people how to be a bit superhuman to be able to cope with working in a very stressed and overwhelmed system, or they think it’s about the system having to totally change in order to make it better for the people that work there.

What happens is you end up with this culture that just feels like resilience victim blaming. It feels like someone’s being repeatedly punched in the head, and that if you’re suffering with a headache from being repeatedly punched in the head, then that’s your fault, and what you need to do is just get better at tolerating being repeatedly punched in the head. And then maybe what the system can do is give you a helmet so that the punches don’t hurt quite as much.

When organisations put fruit bowls into their offices, and maybe give you a cycle to work scheme, and a free yoga session at lunchtime, it can feel really irritating. And not just irritating, actually, sometimes, does more harm than good because people think to themselves, ‘Well, they’re only doing this because it’s so awful to work here.’ So this fruit and bicycles approach to well-being and resilience in organisations just doesn’t work. Nor does trying to make people superhuman so that they can survive working in a really, really tricky environment.

Now, I know what lots of people say about resilience — that it is a little bit like pulling bodies out of the river, resuscitating them and sending them back to work. And actually, what we should be focusing on is going up the river, and working out who’s chucking the bodies in in the first place and stopping the body’s going in. Now, I 100% agree. That is system change that we really, really need to look at, but most of us are not in charge of the system. Or we may be in charge of very small parts of the system. And I know the majority of my listeners work in the NHS, which is an incredibly complex system. There is no one NHS, lots and lots of little organisations bonded together. But actually there is no one thing that you can do throughout the NHS to make the system better, and there are people working on this.

Just sitting here waiting for the system to change and saying, ‘Well, you know what? The system needs to change, and if the system needs to change, then the bodies stop being thrown in the river, that’s when it’s going to be okay.’ That just doesn’t work because if we wait ‘till that happens, then we’ll never be okay. We’ll never be able to thrive at work. So we need to take a different approach. We need to think about what we can do to actually survive and thrive in the workplace.

It is not about being able to put up with being repeatedly being punched in the head. It’s about making some choices so that we avoid the punches in the first place. In order to have really high performance, you do need a good workplace and you need resilient people, and then you’ll get someone who has been able to give their best.

But even in a good workplace, if you’ve got someone who doesn’t have many of the, sort of what we call resilience, productivity, self-management skills, then you will probably get quite low performance from that individual, even if they’re working somewhere really, really great.

Conversely, if you put somebody who has a lot of really good resilience skills, if you put them in a absolutely toxic, very, very difficult organisation, and you tell them they just have to produce results, and that person works and works and works, and sets no boundaries, and that person will also burn out. Okay? That is bad news. No matter how many life skills we have, if we are in a very, very toxic environment, then that is bad news for us.

I know that there’ll be some people listening who know that they are in a really toxic environment. My challenge to you would be, are you choosing to stay there for the right reasons or the wrong reasons? Do you have any choices that you could make to go work somewhere different? I once had an appraisal, and halfway through my appraisal, I said to my appraiser, ‘I just sometimes wonder if I’m in completely the wrong job.’

They turned to me said, ‘Actually, Rachel, no. You’re just in the wrong workplace. You’re just in the wrong practice.’ I changed practices, and it was much, much better. So if you have that choice, and you are somewhere that you know is toxic, then make that choice just to go into different workplaces, because you do not have control over much of your workplace culture.

If you know that you’re working somewhere with a toxic culture and you have any power or authority in that organisation, then what can you do to try and address that? Because people will burn out, and people will leave. But let’s face it, most of where we work tends to be sort of somewhere in the middle between good and bad workplace. There’s some things that are really good about it. There’s some things that are really difficult about it.

There are some things that can change. There are probably some things that aren’t ever going to change. And the question is, if you are choosing to continue to work there, what are you going to choose to do so that you don’t burn out, so that you can survive, or even maybe thrive in that workplace? That is what true resilience is about. It’s about those choices that you make because you have chosen to work in a particular place.

The questions that you need to start asking, firstly, are there any quick wins that we can do as a group here? Getting the well-being basics in so that you can connect and get yourself that all-important peer-group at work. I know after COVID that there are some consulting teams that haven’t even seen each other face-to-face because all their interaction is now online. What can you do to build those informal connections?

How can you get the well-being basics in place? And that is something you do for yourself. Taking a break, even if you have patients waiting. Just saying, ‘I need 10 minutes to go and refresh myself, and go for a walk.’ Because many of us have this learned helplessness, thinking that there is nothing we can do. But like I said in the previous quick tip on You Choose, we always have a choice. There are lots of small things that we can do.

Now, this is where I will lose 8% of the audience because people can get very cross when they are told that, actually, you are in control over what you choose to do, the conversations you have, the times you agree to work. Now, there might be some consequences if you don’t agree, but you’re in control of the choices that you make. You’re in control of how you look after yourself. You’re in control of how you interact with people at work.

I think this learned helplessness in healthcare has come over many, many years. There was a study in 2016, published in the BJGP about why GPs under the age of 50 were leaving medicine. There were all sorts of reasons, from sort of the administrative burden to the pay. But the biggest thing, by far, was because of the effects of the job on their well-being. And the authors Natasha Doran et al., compared GPs to frogs in boiling water. 20 years ago, the work was just not like this.

But of course, so the same goes, if you put a frog in a pan of slowly boiling water, they don’t notice the heat being turned up. I think that has happened to a lot of healthcare professionals. We have not noticed that heat being turned up so that it just becomes normal to be doing 12, 13, 14 hour days, to be dialing in at weekends, to be finishing your paperwork — to be doing way beyond what you are paid to do, or way beyond what you can do.

Healthcare professionals have been a bit like a sponge. In the past, we’ve been able to absorb the extra work, and this has even been acknowledged in the House of Commons report from 2021. And they said that actually, this excess workload, it’s like the pattern you can’t see on wallpaper. You just don’t notice it anymore because we are so used to doing it. And actually, they say that if people stop doing that extra work, then the NHS would just collapse.

So if health professionals stopped doing the extra work, there would be no NHS. The problem is, what you do when you’re 24 hours a day are used up. And your usual thing has been work harder and harder, but you can’t work harder and harder anymore. You need to make some difficult choices. So we need to make some choices about how much more work we are going to absorb. And that involves saying no to some things, and saying no is difficult.

We’re going to talk about that in another Quick Dip. But in order to say no, we need to know what we’re going to say yes to. What is it that we’re really going to prioritise? How are we going to choose to look after ourselves to make sure we’re getting that lunch break? To make sure we’re getting home at a decent hour so that we can look after ourselves and spend time with the people who are really important to us?

How are we going to change our mindset so that we are not constantly taking things personally or worrying about stuff that hasn’t even happened yet? And how are we going to get the help that we need to process the traumatic stuff that we deal with on a day-to-day basis? So these are all questions for you. These are questions about how are you going to choose to survive and thrive in a system that is really tricky, that is complex, that is stressed, that is under ginormous pressure.

I’m afraid I think with the political environment, with the cuts that are going to be happening even more, it’s going to be really, really difficult. But you have the choice. You can either change your environment or go work somewhere else. And for some of you, that might be a choice that you need to make. Or you can make some changes in the way that you are responding and reacting to situations.

You can go and get some help with that. And a really great book is to read the Chimp Paradox by Professor Steve Peters. Absolutely amazing and completely changed the way I thought about things. You can think about how you’re prioritising your time, and we’ll put some links to the podcasts we’ve done around time management and prioritisation.

You can think about what help you need. What help do you need, what help will you choose to get in order to survive and thrive in the work that you are choosing to do? Because this is all about staying inside your zone of power and looking at the stuff that you can control, not getting stressed about the stuff that you can’t control.

Well-being and resilience is not about helping you become more superhuman so that you can survive in a stressed and broken system. It’s about helping you make the choices, the difficult choices, that you need to make on a daily basis if you are going to choose to work in the job that you love. So you choose. What are you going to do? Where are you going to work? And how are you going to thrive?

Podcast Links

Lost to the NHS: a mixed methods study of why GPs leave practice early in England

The Chimp Paradox: The Mind Management Program to Help You Achieve Success, Confidence, and Happiness by Dr Steve Peters

Check out these You’re Not A Frog episodes that cover time management and prioritisation:

THRIVE Weekly Planner

Join the Permission to Thrive CPD Monthly Membership Programme for Doctors here!

Reach out to Rachel at hello@youarenotafrog.com

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Dr Susi Caesar joins us to talk about how you can elevate and enjoy your professional life with annual appraisals. She shares the purpose of appraisals and how they can help you choose the best way forward in your career and personal life. Dr Susi also gives her top tips on what you can do to make this process more meaningful. If you want to know more about appraisals and how you can benefit from them, stay tuned to this episode.

Episode 113: What To Do When A Junior Is Badmouthing Your Colleagues with Dr Ed Pooley

Dr Ed Pooley joins us in this episode to discuss what we should do when we see inappropriate behaviour like badmouthing. He shares how we can manage difficult conversations with the intent of helping others. We also discuss the importance of recognising triggers through the SCARF model. If you want to know how to deal with difficult conversations for a better workplace, listen to this episode.

Episode 112: Why We’re Ditching the Term ‘Imposter Syndrome’ with Dr Sarah Goulding

Dr Sarah Goulding joins us to talk about imposter syndrome and why we need to drop the word from our vocabularies. We also discuss how self doubt can be helpful to us. Finally, she shares tips for overcoming wobbles and incorporating more self-compassion into your life. If you want to get over your imposter syndrome and practice self-compassion, then this episode is for you!

Episode 111: What To Do When You Start To See Red with Graham Lee

Graham Lee joins us to discuss our emotional states and ways to apply simple mindfulness techniques to change them. Most conflicts are rooted in unmet needs. When we admit those needs, we can instantly change relationship dynamics. Graham also shares tips on what to do during stressful situations where your emotions cloud your judgement and thinking. If you want to use mindfulness practice to be more aware of your emotions even during difficult situations, tune in to this episode.

Episode 110: How To Stop People Pleasing And Absorbing Other People’s Angst

Dr Karen Forshaw and Chrissie Mowbray join us to discuss how our core beliefs shape the way we respond to situations. When taken too far, empathy and helping people can be a big cause of stress. In addition, we also talk about we can learn to reframe and reassess their core beliefs. If you want to know how to help people without absorbing their emotions, stay tuned to this episode.

Episode 109: Is It Possible To Have Fun At Work? With Dr Kathryn Owler

Dr Kathryn Owler joins us in this episode to share her fascinating research on the characteristics and traits of people who enjoy their current jobs. We dissect the common themes these people have in finding success in their careers. And we also talk about changes we can implement as individuals to make work more fun and enjoyable. If you want to start adopting the mindset people who have fun at work have, stay tuned to this episode.

Episode 108: What We Wish We’d Learnt at Med School with Dr Ed Pooley & Dr Hussain Gandhi

Dr Ed Pooley and Dr Hussain Gandhi join us in the latest episode of You are Not a Frog. They discuss the management skills a doctor needs that you won't learn in med school, plus tips to help fresh doctors feel empowered in their workplace. Whether or not you work in medicine, these skills are crucial when it comes to working effectively and managing your own and others’ time. Tune in and listen to the experts talk about the management skills med school doesn't teach you and how to learn and develop them today.

Episode 107: Define Your Own Success In Life With Dr Claire Kaye

Dr Claire Kaye joins us to talk about the importance of honesty and clarity in defining our own success. We may think that achieving certain goals will make us happy, but evidence shows us it’s the other way around. It’s only when we’re happy that we can be successful. We also discuss how to overcome common barriers to our happiness and success such as fear, guilt, and uncertainty. If you want to know how to live a happier and more successful life, stay tuned to this episode.

Episode 105: The Simplest Way to Beat Stress and Work Happier with Dr Giles P. Croft

In this episode, Dr Giles P. Croft joins us to discuss how our thoughts and emotions trigger stress signals. He shares his controversial approach to tackling stress, and why most of our efforts to cope better don’t really help at all. We also delve into the importance of pausing to allow yourself to calm down and letting go of the things you can’t control.

Episode 104: How to Cope With Nightmare Relatives and Colleagues Without Losing the Plot

In this special Christmas episode, Corrina Gordon-Barnes shows us how to create the groundwork for a peaceful and successful holiday season, even while navigating difficult relationships with relatives or colleagues. Corrina guides us to relax our expectation of a perfect holiday with our family, so we can face reality in ourselves and others. She explains a simple framework to allow you to resolve conflict, and walks us through what we can do during difficult gatherings and how to shift our responses to create different outcomes. Tune in to improve your strained relationships with relatives and co-workers through empathy and letting go of past assumptions.

Episode 103: How Not to Settle For The Way It’s Always Been Done

Dr Abdullah Albeyatti talks about improving your life and career by making changes and taking risks. He explains why settling for the familiar could be slowly ruining your life and how you can avoid this situation. Finally, he shares his top three tips to become a changemaker in your field. If you want to start doing things differently, creating change, and take more risks, then this episode is for you!

Episode 102: Why FAIL is Not a 4-Letter Word

Drs Claire Edwin, Sally Ross, and Taj Hassan join us to discuss how we can manage and deal with our failures more effectively. We explore the idea that rather than doing something wrong, failure is an opportunity to really grow and learn both as individuals, as leaders and as organisations. In any situation, it’s important to remember that we’re all human. It’s okay to be honest with ourselves and each other about our mistakes - after all, vulnerability is not a sign of weakness. If you want to know how to change your mindset around failure, stay tuned to this episode.

Episode 101: Making Helpful Habits Stick with Sheela Hobden

Sheela Hobden joins us to discuss how we can harness the power of checklists to create a routine. She shares how you can approach your goals in a more realistic way and learn to encourage yourself using specific goal setting techniques. Sheela also recommends creating identity-based goals to ensure that you keep building your new identity even after completing certain milestones. Start small, and eventually, you’ll see these good habits stick!

Episode 100: Dealing With the Guilt of Not Being Okay With Dr Nik Kendrew

Dr Nik Kendrew unravels why we experience overwhelming guilt when bad things happen to us. He also shares some tips, techniques, and resources on how to deal with guilt, especially in these difficult times and circumstances. Apart from this, Nik talks about the significance of scheduling our entire day to do important things. Finally, he discusses why setting boundaries is necessary to maintain our sense of self.

Episode 99: How to Deal with Criticism When You’ve Reached Your Limit with Dr Sarah Coope and Dr Rachel Morris

Dr Sarah Coope joins me to talk about the workload of medical professionals and the benefits of setting boundaries while dealing with criticisms amidst the global pandemic. We discuss the three elements of the Drama Triangle and ways to navigate or avoid them reliably. As we dive deeper into the conversation, we explore the art of saying 'No' through acknowledging our limits. Awareness and recognition can go a long way in maintaining our boundaries. If you want to take the first step in recognising your limits, handling criticism better and setting proper boundaries, tune in to this episode.

Episode 96 – How to Deal with Difficult Meetings with Jane Gunn

We hear from the expert in conflict management and mediation, Jane Gunn. She discusses important tips to keep in mind to host great meetings. She shares some practical conflict management tips and how to make decisions that you and your team agree on. Jane also emphasises the importance of putting the fun back in functional meetings and the need to give a voice to participants.

Episode 93 – How to Delegate, Do It, or Drop It with Anna Dearmon Kornick

Anna Dearmon Kornick joins us to share the time management strategies crucial for busy professionals. She lays down tips on how medical practitioners can have more control over their days. Anna talks about how to manage admin time and imparts ways to combat distractions. We also discuss the importance of delegation both inside and outside work. For this, Anna introduces the passion-proficiency lens and knowing your zone of genius.

Episode 92 – How to Avoid Becoming the Second Victim with Dr Caraline Wright & Dr Lizzie Sweeting

Dr Caraline Wright and Dr Lizzie Sweeting join us to discuss the second victim phenomenon. They explain why patient safety incidents are occupational hazards and how they can affect healthcare providers. Caraline then shares her personal experience of being in the “second victim” role. Finally, they share tips on how to avoid second victimhood and how to provide support to someone going through it.

Episode 91 – How to Break Up With Your Toxic Relationship With Your Career with Dr Pauline Morris

Dr Pauline Morris joins us to share her career counselling advice for physicians and other professionals in high stress jobs. We discuss the common pitfalls that lead doctors to unsustainable work habits. Pauline also sheds light on why staying in your comfort zone can be detrimental to your performance. To avert this, she shares tips on how to better recognise and advocate for your own needs. We also learn about the importance of self-care and taking time for yourself.

Episode 90 – What to do About Bitching and Backbiting with Dr Edward Pooley

Dr Edward Pooley joins us again to discuss what to do when colleagues make inappropriate comments about others. We talk about why it’s crucial to consider the question behind the question in workplace backbiting. Ed also teaches us how to challenge in a supportive way. Most importantly, we learn some strategies to prepare ourselves to speak up when the situation requires it.

Episode 89 – Should I stay or should I go? with Corrina Gordon-Barnes

Corrina Gordon-Barnes joins us to share how to better relationships and take control and stay in your zone of power. She shares how to make a good decision by questioning thoughts and assumptions. We also discuss how you can change your perspective to become more compassionate, accepting, and empowered. If you want to know how to better relationships, stay in your zone of power, improve your decision-making skills, and be true to yourself, then tune in to this episode!

Episode 88 – How to Ditch the Saviour Complex and Feel More Alive with Rob Bell

Rob Bell joins us in this episode to discuss the perils of the saviour complex and the desire to keep hustling even when we’re miserable. We learn that taking time for rest and reflection only helps us get stronger. You can’t heal and help rebuild a broken system if you don’t look out for yourself first. Tune in to this episode to find out how to ditch the saviour complex, feel happier and live a more fulfilling life.

Episode 87 – Complaints and How to Survive Them Episode 5: What Should I Do When I Think a Complaint is Unfair? And Other Questions with Drs Sarah Coope, George Wright, Samantha White, and Andrew Tressider

We’re joined by a panel of expert guests to share their thoughts on how to handle complaints. Together, we discuss ways that you can adjust your perspective and respond to unfavourable situations. Most importantly, we tackle issues regarding malicious complaints and how to cope with them. If you’re having trouble managing yourself during complaints, then this episode is for you.

Episode 86 – Gaslighting and Other Ways We’re Abused at Work: What’s Really Going On? with Dr James Costello

Dr James Costello joins us to talk about his new book and the insidious ways that organisations and individuals can undermine us. They compel us to do extra emotional labour for us to cope with the workplace dynamics. We also chat about what happens when authority and power are misused. Finally, James shares some of the disastrous consequences bullying in the workplace can have and what we can do about it. Tune in if you want to know what to do if you suspect that you or a colleague are experiencing relational abuse in the workplace!

Episode 85 – How to have crucial conversations with Dr Edward Pooley

Good communication between colleagues is crucial for the success of any organisation. Dr Edward Pooley joins us again to teach us how to communicate well. He discusses the three strands present in any conversation and helps us understand how we can be more aware of each. We also share some frameworks that can help you navigate difficult conversations. Understanding the importance of emotion is crucial in being an effective communicator and connecting with your team.

Episode 84 – Complaints and How to Survive Them Episode 4: Creating a Workplace Where It’s OK to Fail

Professor Susan Fairley and Dr Jane Sturgess join us to discuss how to create a workplace that doesn’t shy away from failure. We talk about how civility can save lives and also touch on the issues around incident reporting in healthcare. Most importantly, we talk about creating a culture where people can have difficult conversations without defensiveness. If you want to know how to approach failing and speaking up in the workplace, tune in to this episode.

Episode 83 – The Ups and Downs of Being a Man-Frog with Dr Chris Hewitt

Joining us in this episode is Dr Chris Hewitt who also uses the metaphor of a man-frog in coaching professionals to have a better work-life balance. Chris talks about why we find it so hard to recognise burnout. He also shares his top tips and practical strategies to address work dissatisfaction. If you want to stop feeling like a man (or woman) - frog in a pan of slowly boiling water, listen to the full episode.

Episode 82 – Complaints and How to Survive Them Series Episode 3: Surviving the Process

Drs Jessica Harland, Caroline Walker and Heidi Mousney join us in this episode to discuss healthcare professionals’ experiences when dealing with complaints. We talk about the different emotions you may experience and practical tips on getting through. If you want to know how to survive the process after making a mistake at work and receiving a complaint, stay tuned to this episode.

Episode 81 – When Soft and Fluffy Met Coronavirus with Steve Andrews

Steve Andrews, Associate Director of Leadership for East and North Herts NHS Trust shares how, through using just five crucial questions, you can check in on people, rather than check up on them. The 5 questions will help you to find out how people really are, help them look out for their colleagues, empower them to solve their own problems AND communicate empathy and support. Want to know how you can apply compassionate leadership in your organisation? Then, this episode is for you.

Episode 80 – Complaints and How to Survive Them Episode 2: What to Do When You Make a Mistake with Drs Clare Devlin and Dr John Powell

Drs Clare Devlin and John Powell join us to discuss the proper way of responding to professional mistakes. We talk about why doctors have a hard time whenever they make a mistake at work. Clare and John also share valuable advice on minimising negative consequences and getting a good outcome for you and your patient. If you want to learn a roadmap for what you should do you make a mistake at work, then tune in to this episode.

Episode 79 – How to Give Yourself Permission to Thrive with Dr Katya Miles

Dr Katya Miles joins us once again to talk about burnout and giving ourselves permission to thrive. Having experienced work burnout, Katya shares her story and discusses the red flags of burnout. We also talk about why we find it difficult to give ourselves permission to thrive and how we can overcome our own internal barriers. If you want to learn about how you can listen to your needs so that you can thrive in work and in life, then this episode is for you.

Episode 78 – Complaints and How to Survive Them Series 1: Preparing to Fail Well with Drs Sarah Coope, Annalene Weston and Sheila Bloomer

Drs Sarah Coope, Annalene Weston and Sheila Bloomer join us in this first episode in a new series on ‘Complaints and How to Survive Them’ to talk about coaching doctors and dentists through complaints made against them. We also talk about the perfectionist mindset and how changing our perspective towards failure can help us and those around us. If you want to know how to deal better with complaints made against doctors and other professionals in high-stress jobs, stay tuned to this episode.

Episode 77 – Denial, displacement and other ways we neglect ourselves with Dr Andrew Tresidder

Dr Andrew Tresidder joins us to talk about how many medical practitioners and other professionals in healthcare and high stress jobs neglect their health and well-being. We're so focused on taking care of others that we forget to take care of ourselves but our well-being is vital if we want to keep doing the work we do. Find out why healthcare professionals need to learn more about health, as opposed to only learning about disease and if you want to know how to focus on taking care of your health and well-being, stay tuned to this episode.

Episode 76 – Tech Tips for Happy Hybrid Working with Dr Hussain Gandhi

Dr Hussain Gandhi, or Dr Gandalf of eGPlearning, joins us in this episode. He is a GP, PCN director and host of the eGP Learning Podblast that shares deep dives into health tech for primary care. He shares his tech and time hacks for hybrid working to survive and thrive in the new virtual environment. If you want to find out how to improve your hybrid working experience, then tune in to this episode!

Episode 74 – Managing your Time in a System Which Sucks with Dr Ed Pooley

Dr Ed Pooley joins us in this episode to share his take on time management techniques for busy individuals. He discusses the three types of competing demands and how to manage them. We also talk about being more comfortable holding difficult conversations about workplace issues - vital to help change the environment we work in. Tune into this episode to discover how time management techniques and communication can help you get a calmer and more time-efficient workplace.

Episode 73 – How to Find Your Tribe: The PMGUK story with Dr Nazia Haider and Dr Katherine Hickman

Dr Nazia Haider and Dr Katherine Hickman join us on this episode to discuss the importance of a work community. We talk about the inspiring stories from the online community they created, the Physicians Mums Group UK (PMGUK). Nazia and Katherine also share their tips on how to increase connections and find your own tribe at work. If you want to know how to create a network of supportive colleagues and feel more connected, then tune into this episode.

Episode 72 – Working well – from anywhere! with Dr Katya Miles

Dr Katya Miles joins us to discuss how to work well from home by creating healthy boundaries. She shares how to be more productive by using the third space hack and taking breaks. Katya also talks about how to be more active and better connect with people in the workplace. If you want to learn about working well from home and achieving a better work-life balance, then tune in to this episode.

Episode 71 – Create a Career You’ll Love with Dr Claire Kaye

Dr Claire Kaye joins us to discuss how to find a career you love. As an executive coach specialising in career development, Claire is an expert in guiding people how to find a career they love. We talk about the value of job networking and diversifying in our career journeys. We also share our tips and experiences on how to find a career you love. We do this by helping you identify the roles that best suit you and how to go about getting these roles.

Episode 70 – How Safe Do You Feel at Work with Scott Chambers

Scott Chambers joins us to talk about why we need to make people feel comfortable and safe enough to speak up in their workplace. When we create psychological safety in our team, we improve overall happiness and boost performance! If you want to learn how to create psychological safety for a better and happier team - whether you’re the boss or not, stay tuned to this episode.

Episode 69 – Make Time for What Matters with Liz O’Riordan

Liz O'Riordan joins us to share productivity life hacks. These have helped her transform how she approaches work. Now, Liz can spend quality time with her family and enjoy life. In this episode, she teaches us how we too can achieve this. If you want to learn some new life hacks, beat burnout and work happier, then tune in to this episode!

Episode 68 – The Revolutionary Art of Breathing with Richard Jamieson

Richard Jamieson discusses how we can utilise breathing techniques to feel calmer, make better decisions and be more productive. He explains the different steps we can take to change our breathing patterns. When you’re in a high-stress situation, remember this: just breathe. If you want to know how to use breathing techniques to beat stress in everyday situations, stay tuned to this episode.

Episode 67 – Bringing Your Best Self to Work with Dr Sarah Goulding

Dr Sarah Goulding discusses how to bring your whole self to work without leaving bits of you behind. Sarah shares her own story of experiencing burnout at her old job and rediscovering her true passion. We also discuss how applying our core strengths to our jobs can mean the difference between burnout and having a sense of fulfilment. Don’t miss out on this episode if you want to learn more about how to be yourself and how to bring joy back into your work!

Episode 65 – Passing the Naughty Monkey Back with Dr Amit Sharma

Dr Amit Sharma joins us to discuss the effects of taking on too many of other people’s ‘naughty monkeys’. We talk about why professionals in high-stress jobs so often take on the rescuer role and how to shift that mindset. Amit and I also discuss the importance of empowering patients to take control of their own health. If you want to know how to avoid being weighed down by too many naughty monkeys, stay tuned to this episode.

Episode 64 – What to Do When You’re Out of Fuel with Dr Jess Harvey

Dr Jess Harvey, a GP partner and GB triathlete, talks about what happened to her after running out of fuel and feeling burnt out. She discusses how we often ignore the symptoms and signs for too long and why resting and refuelling is as important as what we're doing in the first place. If you’re feeling burnt out, tune in to this episode to find out how you can plug the holes in your energy bucket!

Episode 63 – How to Survive Even When Times are Tough with Dr Caroline Walker

This episode is part of the COVID-19 Supporting Doctors series, and joining us again is Dr Caroline Walker. She's here to discuss why rest is crucial, especially for people in high-stress jobs. Caroline also shares key strategies that can keep us going through the crisis. The previous year has been tough, so don’t miss this episode to start 2021 better prepared.

Episode 62 – Self-Coaching for Success with Dr Karen Castille, OBE

Dr Karen Castille joins me in this episode to discuss her book on self-coaching. She shares powerful questions to ask yourself which will jumpstart your self-coaching journey. She also talks about the importance of developing this vital skill and crafting powerful life questions. Before we close the show, Karen gives her top tips for self-coaching. Don’t miss this episode if you want to learn how you can find clarity and achieve success through self-coaching!

Episode 61 – The Self Help Book Group on Happiness with Dr Nik Kendrew

In this episode, You Are Not A Frog regular Dr Nik Kendrew joins me to discuss the concept of happiness. We tackle the everlasting question of ‘What is happiness’? We also talk about perfectionism and fear and how these can hinder us from doing the things we want to do. At the end of the show, Nik and I give our top tips to being happier. If you want to know more about living a happy life, then this episode is for you.

Episode 60 – Creating a Workplace that Works with Dr Sonali Kinra

Dr Sonali Kinra joins us to discuss why people leave their jobs and how to prevent it. We talk about the importance of workplace culture and its role in creating an environment that makes people want to stay. We also discuss why you need to seek opportunities that broaden and develop your career. Don’t miss this episode if you want to find out how to keep yourself in a job you love.

Episode 59 – A Social Dilemma? With Dr James Thambyrajah

In this episode, Dr James Thambyrajah joins us to talk about social media’s subtle yet profound effect on our daily lives. We discuss the perils of being unaware of how our online decisions are influenced. James also shares his insights on how we can improve how we stay informed and inform others. Tune in to this episode if you want to learn more about how to go beyond your digital echo chamber.

Episode 55 – The One About Alcohol

Dr Giles P Croft is back to chat with Rachel about his experiences following a revolutionary read he was recommended. You might remember Giles from episode 46, where he talked about how as humans, we naturally default to happiness.

Episode 52 – A year of the frog

The week’s episode is a special one as the Frog celebrates a year of podcasting! It’s been quite a year - including charting in Apple’s Top 100 Business Podcasts in the UK!

Episode 50 – Freeing yourself from the money trap

Joining Rachel in this week’s episode is Dr Tommy Perkins, as well as being a GP Partner, and father, Tommy is one half of Medics Money. Medics Money is an organisation specifically aimed at helping doctors make better decisions with their finances. It’s run by Tommy and Dr Ed Cantelo who is not only a doctor but a qualified accountant.

Episode 49 – The Self Help Book Group No 2 with Nik Kendrew

This week Rachel is joined by You Are Not A Frog regular, Nik Kendrew. Last time Nik joined us, we discussed a book that has helped him in his professional life as a GP, trainer and partner as well as his personal life. Nik’s back this week to talk about another brilliant book and to share what insights and learnings he’s gained from it.

Episode 47 – How to Have a Courageous Conversation

Rachel talks with Beccie D'Cunha about the conversations that we avoid and the conversations we really need to have with our colleagues, teams and managers. They can be described as difficult conversations, but we can redefine them as courageous conversations - because ultimately it takes courage for both parties to listen and be heard.

Episode 46 – Default to happy

Rachel talks with Dr Giles P Croft about his take on how to beat stress and burnout. Giles  is a psychology graduate and former NHS surgeon who stepped aside from clinical practice for a decade to explore a number of career paths, including health informatics, cycling journalism, public speaking and high street retail with his wife.

Episode 45 – Rest. The final frontier

Rachel is joined by Sheela Hobden, Professional Certified Coach, wellbeing expert and fellow Shapes Toolkit facilitator. We talk about why rest isn’t just important for wellbeing, but important for productivity and creativity too. 

Episode 40 – Leading with tough love with Gary Hughes

In this episode, Rachel is joined by Gary Hughes, author of the book Leadership in Practice, blogger, educator and facilitator who is a Practice Manager by day. We chat about how leadership in the COVID-19 crisis has had to adapt, and the different roles that a leader has had to take.

Episode 37 – How to manage conflict during COVID with Jane Gunn

Rachel is thrilled to welcome back Jane Gunn – lawyer, mediator and expert in conflict resolution who has been known as the Corporate Peacemaker. This episode is for you if the thought of addressing a difficult issue with one of your colleagues send you running for the hills…

Episode 20 – A creative solution to stress with Ruth Cocksedge

In this episode, Rachel is joined by Ruth Cocksedge a Practitioner Psychologist who started her career as a mental health nurse. She practices in Cambridge and has a particular interest in EMDR for PTSD and creative writing as a way to improve mental health and wellbeing.

Episode 11 – The magical art of reading sweary books

In this episode, Rachel is joined once again by Dr Liz O’Riordan, the ‘Breast Surgeon with Breast Cancer’, TEDx speaker, author, blogger, triathlete and all round superstar who has been nominated for ‘Woman of the Year’.

Previous Podcasts

2023-02-03T12:36:59+01:00
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