It’s Saturday, you’re out with friends and you’re nodding along, but part of you isn’t really there. You’re still turning over that decision you have to make. You may tell yourself you’re confused, but in your heart of hearts, you know what you really want.
In this re-release from October 2024, we get into why the decision itself isn’t wrong – it’s the next step that feels impossible, because it might mean letting someone down and having the conversation nobody else will have. I’m bringing it back while I’m writing my book, How to Say No When Someone Might Die, out in May 2027, because our ingrained programming tells us we have to please everyone all the time to feel good enough – and it will affect your next decision, and the one after that. If you learn to ask a different question, it may help you carry it differently.
We cover:
- Why telling yourself you’re confused is often they worry about the how, not the what
- The question I still use almost every week: in my heart of hearts, what do I really want?
- How fear of letting someone down and being the bad person can make a right decision feel wrong
- What to do when you know the answer but dread the difficult conversation that comes with it
- How to back yourself when people-pleasing pulls you back toward yes
This episode is for you if… You’re a high achiever in a leadership role – the one who has to have the conversation nobody else will have, who has to make the call someone disagrees with, who lies awake replaying a decision you had to make. We learned somewhere in training that a good leader, a good doctor, or professional never lets anyone down – and hard as that is to hear, there may be another way to think about what is actually yours to carry.
You are not a frog.
— Originally released October 2024.
