24th October, 2023

The Real Reason Other People’s Boundaries Make Us Cross

With Rachel Morris

Dr Rachel Morris

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On this episode

When someone else sets boundaries, do you feel able to do the same, or do you resent their ability to say no? Often, our anger towards others’ boundaries comes from our own unmet needs and desires, and what presents itself as resentment is actually envy.

Guilt, shame, and fear often prevent us from expressing our own needs, which just compounds those negative emotions. Without shifting our mindset, we can end up adopting a victim mindset and feeling even more trapped.

In this quick dip episode, Rachel describes how we can identify our underlying needs, find ways to express them, and take small, practical steps towards getting what we want, even if it feels unattainable.

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Reasons to listen

  • To learn how to navigate boundaries and handle feelings of resentment when others say no to you.
  • To understand the difference between anger and envy, and how envy can reveal what you truly want.
  • For strategies to identify your own needs, expressing them to others, and finding ways to meet them.

Episode highlights




What is your underlying need?


What happens when we make ourselves the victim


Questions to ask yourself


What is stopping you from meeting your needs?


If you could wave a magic wand


Expressing your needs to others

Episode transcript

[00:00:00] Rachel: Have you ever felt really hands-off with someone when they’ve given you a no, and all that goes through your mind as well. I don’t get to say no, how come you do? And then we end up saying that someone is flaky or they’re acting a little bit entitled, or we even call them a snowflake. And we end up almost feeling bullied by somebody else’s boundaries. And we start to tell ourselves all these stories that it’s just not fair. I don’t get to do that. Why do they? It’s just because I’m the boss. If…

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