Listen to this episode
On this episode
We’ve all said yes to things we don’t really want to do, whether it’s go to that dinner party or agree to take on that extra piece of work. Often when we do that, we’re thinking about what the other person wants, and not asking ourselves what we truly want.
It’s not just a sense of obligation that forces us to make certain decisions. Fear and shame have their part to play too, so it’s important for us to understand what’s driving our decision, and whether it’s a full-throated “hell yeah!” or something more muted.
When we stop listening to our inner voice, we can end up overcommitting and feeling stretched, overwhelmed, or resentful. But this quick dip offers a moment of pause, and a series of questions you can ask yourself in a quiet spot, to uncover what’s driving your choices, and whether they’re the ones you truly want to make.
Show links
- More episodes of You Are Not a Frog:
- How to Stop Making Decisions Based on Fear – Episode 162, with Henri Stevenson
- Only You Can Choose Your Next Move – Episode 216
- How to Change Your Life in 12 Minutes Per Week – Episode 156, with Robbie Swale
Download the episode’s podsheet. You can use it for reflection and to submit for your appraisal as part of your CPD.
Reasons to listen
- To discover how to make decisions that align with your true desires
- To learn how to ask yourself questions that can clarify your real intentions and help avoid people-pleasing traps
- To recognise and address fear-based decisions, so you can improve your personal and professional relationships
Episode highlights
Is it a Hell Yeah or a Hell No?
Why we don’t follow our intuition
Heart-of-hearts questions
When to use these questions
Pitfalls and mistakes to watch out for
Episode transcript
[00:00:00] Rachel: Have you ever had a really frustrating experience with somebody when you’ve asked them if they’d like to do something or you’ve perhaps suggested a particular role, and they’ve said yes, and then they’d come back and forth with clarification’s and questions and just checking about something. And you start to think. I’m not sure this person actually wants to do this. And why they asking me so many questions? But every time you say, look, this is, this is this okay, do you still want to go ahead? They’re like, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, this is, this…
