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On this episode
No matter how much we know it’ll make our lives better, pretty much all of us struggle to make important changes in our lives. We can get stuck in patterns that feel comforting but aren’t serving us well. And when life gets busy or overwhelming, we fall back into old habits, and the short-term pressures seem to shout louder than our long-term goals.
The key to lasting change is connecting with what we truly want – our heart’s desire – and linking that to what motivates us. By making small, realistic shifts, we can create new patterns that stick. It’s about responding thoughtfully instead of reacting automatically.
The next time you’re faced with a decision, pause and ask yourself what you really want in the long term. Start with small, achievable changes and allow for lapses along the way. Celebrate the wins, no matter how small, and focus on the feelings of success and progress. It’s also helpful to use reminders, set clear boundaries, and practice saying no with compassion when something doesn’t align with your priorities.
Unhelpful habits keep us stuck in cycles that drain us, leaving us overwhelmed, burnt out, and disconnected from what really matters. The goals we care about will keep slipping further out of reach.
But by giving ourselves a moment to think about how our decision aligns with what we want most, we can break old patterns and take a step towards meaningful change.
Show links
More episodes of You Are Not a Frog:
- How to Leave Work on Time – Episode 258, with Alasdair Cant
- How Do You Say No When Someone Might Die? – Episode 193
- How to Change Your Life in 12 Minutes Per Week – Episode 156, with Robbie Swale
About the guests
Alasdair Cant is a facilitator and behavior change coach specialising in Motivational Interviewing. He works with individuals and groups, facilitating conversations around behaviour change and personal growth that help increase people’s motivation and commitment to change.
He works with various clients, from healthcare professionals to senior leaders across health, education, and social services, helping them make meaningful changes in their lives and work.
Follow Alasdair Cant
Reasons to listen
- To learn practical strategies for creating long-term behaviour change and overcoming common barriers
- To understand the importance of connecting with your personal motivations to sustain positive habits
- To discover techniques for managing competing priorities and setting compassionate boundaries
Episode highlights
Why behaviour change is so difficult
Other fears
Finding the lightbulb moment
Identifying your shoulds
Finding support to maintain boundaries
Back your wise self
When others’ requests conflict with our essential care
Avoiding stock phrases
Treat yourself to a little perspective
How metaphors can help in behaviour change
A river, not a bucket
Episode transcript
[00:00:00] Rachel: If you’ve ever tried to give something up, pick up something new, or change your behaviour, you’ll know that making the decision, setting the goal or the resolution, that’s the easy bit. Now making it stick, especially when the novelty has worn off, or life has got in the way, is much harder. [00:00:15] Rachel: Last week we had Alasdair Cant on the podcast, and I’m delighted to say that he’s joining us again to continue our discussion on behaviour change. [00:00:23] Rachel: We recorded this one a few weeks after our first chat, but I wanted to…
