19th March, 2024

Beware Your Kindest Colleagues

With Rachel Morris

Dr Rachel Morris

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On this episode

What happens when we’re not feeling well, or when we’re feeling overwhelmed at work? Often, we turn to our colleagues for support. But what happens when that support doesn’t come, or it’s not as helpful as we’d hoped?

When we’re all in the same boat, it’s tricky to get a different perspective. Even well-meaning advice from a colleague can feel misplaced or missing the mark, as it’s shaped by their own experiences and limitations. This can leave us feeling resentful and even more stressed than before.

We need to look outside our immediate work environment, to seek out “useless friends”, understand why we’re asking for advice and be clear about what we hope to gain from it.

In this quick dip episode, Rachel lays out where to seek help when we’re stressed, and some pitfalls to watch out for.

Our colleagues – even the most supportive ones – mean well. But often, so do those who aren’t in a position to help. So we need to make sure to get an outside perspective so we don’t become resentful or frustrated, and damage our work relationships.

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Reasons to listen

  • Handle disappointment if colleagues aren’t able to support you
  • Find friends who can give you an unbiased perspective
  • Pinpoint your needs, set clear expectations, and avoid the pitfalls of short-term solutions

Episode highlights


What we expect of our colleagues


Our colleagues are human


You’re all in the same boat


Knowing what you want


Our colleagues’ hidden agendas


Being demanding and entitled


Continuing down the wrong path

Episode transcript

[00:00:00] Rachel: I was talking to somebody recently who had gone off sick with stress and burnout. And she’d been really disappointed about the reaction that’s her work, particularly her clinical manager had had about her illness. And she had gone into them and said to them, look. I’m feeling really unwell. I’m feeling really stressed. I can’t focus. I think I need to take some time off. And rather than say to, yeah, no, I think you’re right, that’s absolutely fine, we’ll source out, they had ummed and ahhed, made life a little bit difficult and said they weren’t…

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