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On this episode
Saying what you really feel – especially in a high-stress job – is no easy task. Crucial conversations are often avoided for fear of damaging relationships. These unaired grievances get bottled up and over time can increase our level of stress.
But there are three core conditions for effective conversation that can help here: empathy (stepping into someone else’s shoes), unconditional respect (accepting the other’s right to be as they are), and congruence (expressing our thoughts and feelings authentically).
Sadly, ignoring a problem with another person – or avoiding giving negative feedback – won’t make them go away. On the contrary, too many important things going unsaid can lead to a toxic environment where stress levels rise, relationships break down, and productivity suffers.
But, by stepping into the other party’s shoes, respecting their right to be as they are, and expressing our own thoughts authentically, we can create a more psychologically safe environment where issues are dealt with respectfully.
Show links
More episodes of You Are Not a Frog:
- How to Get Moving Again When You Feel Stuck – Episode 207 with Nicola Rylett-Jones
- How to Challenge Upsetting Behaviour – Episode 192 with Dr Chris Turner
- What Happens When We’re Really Listened to – Episode 180 with Tom Dillon
Download the episode’s podsheet. You can use it for reflection and to submit for your appraisal as part of your CPD.
About the guests
Lasy encourages people to bring their authentic selves to work, promoting a healthier and more honest work environment. She co-founded Conscious Business People to advocate for bringing our entire personality to come to work, over surface-level perks like dress-down Fridays. Her mission is to make people see work as part of their life and to enhance authenticity in the workplace.
Follow Lasy Lawless
Reasons to listen
- To learn about the three core conditions for effective conversation
- To understand how balancing these conditions can improve communication and lead to healthier relationships
- To discover strategies to identify and address conversations you’ve been avoiding, reducing stress and unresolved conflicts
Episode highlights
Where people struggle to say what they mean
Bringing your whole self to work
The 3 core conditions for being with people
What to do if you’re stuck in a “must-win” mindset
Saying what you really mean
Identifying your emotions
When to ask for help
How to give difficult feedback
How to take difficult feedback
When tricky feedback situations become unpleasant
Lasy’s top tips
Episode transcript
[00:00:00] Rachel: Is there a difficult conversation at work that you’ve been avoiding? Is there someone that you’ve really loved to give a piece of your mind? When the pressure’s on, it can be really difficult to express your true thoughts and feelings, especially when you’re worried about giving offense. [00:00:14] This week, I’m speaking with Lasy Lawless, a psychotherapist who advocates bringing your whole self to work. We talked about the three core elements of effective conversations and what to do if you’re stuck with the sorts of person who thinks the conversation is something you’ve got to win.…
